Like my fight or flight meter skyrockets and I feel like I’m in danger.
I get that but it’s likely due to my CPTSD from a lifetime of being screamed at.
lifetime of being screamed at
Ayyyy, same, lol
I wouldn’t say it’s unnormal.
It’s a bit more severe, but I don’t know anybody that doesn’t feel uncomfortable when people are arguing near them. Some definitely mind more than others.
PTSD
This for me, but I don’t feel the same if the argument is in a language I don’t know / understand.
Somehow, being yelled at in Cantonese feels like it hurts my feelings more. Like… it feels more “intimate”, its much more personal. Only family uses it, so it feel worse when Cantonese (or sometimes Taishanese) is used. Like I feel like it activates a different part of my bain that’s closer to emotions, while English, even though it can still be terrifying, is slightly more distant.
English, is more like someone outside trying to breach your house, Cantonese, feels like mom chasing you around the house and beat you as if you are still 7 years old and too young to defend yourself.
Yepppp
I grew up in a house where my parents intentionally never raised their voices.
It’s made me unflappable in the face of shouting, but also resulted in years of misery as I learned a constructive way to handle raised voices outside of the safety of my home.
Coughing on the other hand… triggers my fight/flight every time.
We dont raise our voices in the home, if it happens it’s very rare and under exceptional circumstances and wondered as I’ve my kids are getting older how they would handle if/when people yelled at them outside the home and how I could prepare them for it except letting them know it’s going to happen and you can’t control other people’s actions (to a degree)
I had an American friend who was hanging out with me in grade school. My mom asked if my friend wanted to stay for dinner in Taiwanese and he asked me if he should go home because he thought my mom was mad and yelling at me.
Yeah that may be a sign of trauma. It’s a symptom I have
Like my fight or flight meter skyrockets and I feel like I’m in danger.
You should feel afraid, it’s a normal reaction.
People yelling and getting into loud arguments in public with others around is a sure sign that they are socially unaware or ignorant and find it completely normal to raise their voice in argument with strangers and in public. It means their social norms involve not caring about making others uncomfortable and in not minding letting others see how dysfunctional their lives are.
I’m always afraid of people like this because if they don’t mind yelling or having loud arguments with those close to them while others are around … it often means that you can land in the line of fire at one point.
I don’t like people that yell and have loud arguments in public … I usually avoid them.
Agree with CPTSD comment
That’s the whole point of raising your voice… Either learn to tell people to avoid doing it, learn to catch yourself doing it when angry, and teach your children to instead of raising their voice, to improve their argument.
I mean, sometimes you’re not even part of it and its still terrifying. Like say, some random drunk dude wanders onto your street yelling near your house for no reason.
