So I cheated on my boyfriend due to among other things struggles with drug addiction and mental health but i am passed that and he has forgiven me and in turn I have done so much for him and we have a great relationship
when he posted we were back together on his social media he had tons of people come out of the woodwork to tell him not to take me bac and I was a worthless woman that deserved no rights
But why ? It can’t be genine concern for him because these guys hadn’t talked to him in years and weren’t there for him when he posted about my infidelity previously
He also had a few girls come out of the wood work which you would think would be an attempt to date him but it ca’t be that agian they had like 6 months we were broken up they could have done it then
Yo usupport anythign between 2 consenting adults. Why is it rong to forgive the one you love ?
So, as someone who’s been cheated on… I can say with certainty that I would never be able to be intimate or vulnerable with my ex. I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about actual intimacy. It takes trust, and that trust has been broken.
I wouldn’t give an absolute “don’t do it” because everyone is different and every relationship is unique, and I certainly wouldn’t chime in without being asked, but I doubt very much the relationship you have now will ever be what you had before.
It doesn’t really matter what you do, or how you’ve changed. The thoughts will still be there, insidiously causing doubt.
Yeah, can’t believe all his friends don’t want him to get back with a cheating drug addict.
People are capable of change, sure, but after showing a pattern of behaviour where you show getting off with someone other than your partner is more important to you than the respect you have for your partner and maintaining that relationship, why should anyone involved trust or care about what you have to say on the matter?
And from all your responses here, it seems like you are really trying to justify cheating and are giving excuses to treating your partner like shit.
Take some responsibility, own your mistakes, and try to be a better person, not get angry at people for what YOU did to YOUR partner.
I am not a drug user anymore
Second I am a great girlfriend and I would argue better then the majority of girlfriends.
Okay, good for you…
But just because you gave up drugs doesn’t change what you did. We all own our mistakes for the rest of our lives.
People don’t owe you trust or respect if you break those things. Maybe you can build those things up again with the other people in his life but that takes time.
Also, no. you cheated on him. Most good girlfriends don’t cheat on their partners… What do you expect? Most people think cheating is a shitty thing to do.
Why does anyone need to accept it.
I can’t understand the thinking where you think other people should accept it. Cheating can lead to very serious traumas with lasting effects. Many of us have lost friends. Friends who have killed themselves after being cheated on.
People can change. But most cheaters will cheat again. Cheating is a selfish behavior and people who cheat in my experience are incapable of changing their ways. It’s a line that crossing it in the first place says so much.
Why would people speak out? Personal experience. I have friends I haven’t spoken to in years but I still want the best for them. I want them to succeed.
Because once a cheater, always a cheater.
Nah I don’t like this line of thinking. Reminds me of “Once a Criminal, Always a Criminal”. Not very progressive in my opinion.
That being said, OP has been constantly putting “so I cheated” in every post, seems like agendaposting/trolling.
Any chance that this is a matter of sample size? As in, he has more guys in Facebook than girls. At least the ones who know him well enough to ask this rather personal question.
I have no answer for you, but I don’t see why this would be a gendered thing.
No, it’s pretty much an everyone thing. Sure, you’ll find some people sympathetic to your case, but for the most part, it’s an “unforgivable sin”.
No matter what they say, all you can do is either prove them all wrong, or prove them all right.
Edit: I forgot I was replying to a comment, so the tone is directed towards OP.
If it were me, I could not rise above and forgive. But that’s me, and how I feel has zero bearing on you and your boyfriend’s relationship. I also wish you both the very best and a long and happy relationship. 💙
Why is it rong to forgive the one you love ?
Whoever you were unfaithful with probably hadn’t promised your boyfriend anything, so definitely it’s irrational to blame “the other guy”.
If you had agreed to be in a monogamous relationship, you broke that agreement, and for most people that’s a very serious thing.
I do not however buy into your claim that this issue is something men care about more than woman. On the contrary women are generally the ones complaining about unfaithful men, to a degree one would think that is much more common. When statistics clearly indicate that since there are more men than women, chances are that on average, women are more frequently unfaithful than men.
