I could probably set the record for apathy but I probably wouldn’t care enough to try…

All of them for a brief time, but then only one: quickest to be dethroned from every single world record.

Longest company bathroom break

Work records suck.

I’d do something fun. I’d win for most breweries visited. I’m around 600.

Most nails hammered into nose in 1 minute

Still not convinced I can’t beat it

• Most watery poops
• Worst at sex

Record for most annoyed by lazy fucking co-workers.