• IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    10 days ago

    His first move would be to throw a hissy fit, collapse as soon as you touched him, feign a heart attack and threaten to sue you … all while shouting that you’re going to be deported

    • RattlerSix@lemmy.world
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      10 days ago

      If he got in your face and you had your hand up and it just barely touched his chest he’d be yelling “CALL 911!! THATS ASSAULT!!!”

      • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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        10 days ago

        Which is why as a person of colour (I’m a big brown Indigenous Canadian) I will never engage with people like this … because I know that if this happened, there is a high likelihood that the police and courts would take his version seriously.

    • TheRealShadeSlimmy@lemmy.world
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      10 days ago

      “What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.”

      • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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        10 days ago

        That’s beautiful … I haven’t been threatened by an online US Marine in years … I feel honoured … thanks :)

    • kautau@lemmy.world
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      10 days ago

      Either that or since concealed carry is legal in a ton of states just start firing blindly in every direction and then basically everything you said