2025 obligatory alternatives to social distancing:

-Isolate in the office, just never go home (and keep working of course)

-Instead of not going to work, you can get a free brain worm at one of the new brain worm dispensaries

-ingest a lethal dose of Ivermectin

-Storm and plunder one of the official buildings on the list published on the Department of Patriotism’s website (must bring own gallows parts)

Says right there: they dug to find them. Actually finding them might have better chances elsewhere, on account of the bodies being elsewhere, but the light was better here and they didn’t have to walk that far.

Countdown until Musk sues every single one of them for the crime, no treason of not giving him all their money.

No idea but that’s the point of view of that picture. The view clearly being my stance, not the series.

Not at all. Political enemies of the Trump clan will be checked and balanced at every turn.

And then have an out-of-body experience where you watch yourself doing that from the outside.

Countdown until it turns out that everybody associated with any competition to Musk’s companies just so happens to be a criminal Trump siccs his DOJ after: 5… 4…

1. Not true at all. Vile lies spread by the Democrats.
2. Okay, maybe it is true, but it’s actually a good thing.
3. Okay, maybe the results are catastrophic, but it’s actually the Democrats’ fault. The solution is higher tariffs.

“Fuck that particular con, I have a president in my pocket now.”

But if the people who actually post something have not posted yet, or example because they were just born and thus too busy learning how to breathe to post yet, are they born cool even if they are then prevented from posting? Is a born-cool poster who loses the ability to post through a freak curling iron accident retroactively unborn cool? Is a born-cool poster who has yet to make their first post Schrödinger’s cool poster until they actually make their first post?

But he has money. If you’re rich, they let you do it.

Bit slow in the frames-per-second department though.

I dunno… Still better ratings than the star wars star cruiser hotel thingie.

Your mom.

Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

Wait, it not masking any sense has never deterred anyone from making a your mom joke, so it’s fine after all.

Wait, that’s actually a pretty grim appraisal of the state of what is considered to be humorous.

In that case, I’ll go with my sweatpants instead, if I may.

Did the missiles blindfold him and then stab him in the back five times?

The regular process would be:

1. have idea for easy solution to known problem

2. think it through

3. realise that there more factors at play that would lead to other problems

Trump reaches stage 1 on a good day.

To be fair, he probably meant that only cops should be allowed to use violence with impunity, certainly not the… wink wink nudge nudge… “urban people”.

I’m not certain that it was an explicit condition negotiated with Musk, but I’m sure his investors had full confidence in his ability to do it anyway :)

Because it’s too expensive to crunch up a whole iPhone just for one cone.

Trump sues mirror for making him look ugly.