You an I… We are either going to form an unstoppable super team or… You ate going to end up as my nemesis.

I can fall asleep, near instantly, at will.

I call it my time machine function.

Hello, I’m from Hell Recruiting. We just saw your comment and wondered if you’d be willing to consider a position in our ironic punishment department.

and recorded a video before returning to his boat

Did it for clout.

What a prick.

Nah, we sometimes call them “Yank Vegetables”.

I’m starting with the man in the mirror I’m asking him to change his ways And no message could’ve been any clearer If they wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself and then make a change

But let’s not forget the time the US dragged the world into a horrible war on terror just so it could maintain oil prices too.

Yes, that was what I joking about.

You just know that Trump is going to have to say and do some batshit wild stuff to distract us from this.

What next?

My money is on claiming Antarctica as US land because of …uh… Ice prices or something.

Nah, you got Hungary too. All the fash.

Real Art of The Deal shit.

Absolute fucking masterclass in statesman-like diplomacy.

Genuinely a moment for all Americans to be proud of. Truly, exceptional.

I hope Zelensky travelled all the way there to tell him to go and fuck himself to his face.

Going to guess you aren’t European and you aren’t aware of what Putin did to our gas prices at the start of the Ukrain invasion.

You’re out by a million miles (sarcasm, not exact figure).

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Being old.

I used to be able to sleep endlessly.

Now I find myself awake early in the morning, despite having gone to bed rather late. And I’d like to go back to sleep but I can’t.

I miss it.

And this isn’t even about needing to get up to pee. That’s apparently something I still have to look forward to.

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Ok, not preaching here… Just sharing something that helped me.

I was “terminally online”.

It got me down.

What I found out was that staying well informed doesn’t mean keeping up to date with what is happening at this very moment. It means learning all the wonderful things from history.

Well informed means learning, right?

There are so many brilliant things you can learn right now. And they’ll all make you a better, more useful, citizen.

Learn how to paint. Learn photography. Learn why the Japanese like squid. Learn cockney rhyming slang. Learn about Egypt’s history with gold. Learn it all. That’s also staying well informed.

News is such a small part of being human.

• for context…

I’m neuro divergent, I guess, but not ADHD. If anything I’m the opposite. I can focus of things incredibly well. I can prioritise and actuate tasks rather well.

However, you give me a dentist appointment at 2pm and I’m up at 7.30 with my coat on by 8, sat at my kitchen table until mid-day when I walk to the dentists and awkwardly stand outside for nearly an hour because that’s what I’m doing.