De Beers did it with diamond engagement rings as well.

I’ve always been afraid of being killed by a drunk driver, or dying while at work. Now both of those things can happen at the same time.

No volume, vibrate, led, or push notifications. If you want my attention badly enough, call. And I will screen the call and text you back at my convenience. I will not be on a leash. Now excuse me while I doomscroll for 2 to 17 hours.

For the cats, at least. I wouldn’t recommend doing it for yourself. I learned that the hard way.

My cats will be about to throw up, so I’ll slide a paper towel under them, and they will try to move to get back to the floor.

You’re absolutely right, as that cat will puke in the most inconvenient spot.

It’s the worst day to be on the internet.

A slideshow would be great when my hands are full of toys

All I use reddit for is porn now, so the ads are really easy to spot. Like if I see someone trying to show me tupperware when I was just looking at goth girls and femboys, I know to keep scrolling.

They could have just worked for the prison system, then they’d get a regular paycheck to enforce slavery.

Not everybody, according to some of the comments in this very post.

You have more in common with those soldiers than you do with the warpigs pulling the strings that led them to their deaths.