You used to have to prove adultery in order to get a divorce in New York state.
Family story time! My great-grandparents wanted to get divorced and were in New York, so my grandfather lay in a bed next to his mother-in-law under the covers and my grandmother took a photo to present to the courts. My great-grandmother apparently never even took off her coat.
That’s hilarious and somehow wholesome that everyone pitched in to get the separation
Great now make it so if you cheat you lose the ability to get alimony.
And an open relationship is different then cheating.
Honestly, I think it’s high time we ditch old marriage laws in favor of much more individualized marriage contracts that are settled in civil court if they’re dissolved. Modern marriages are much more complex than traditional ones and our antiquated laws don’t deal with them well. We’d have to update laws/policies about hospital visiting, medical decisions, inheritance, etc, as well, but I think it would be worth it.
I was in favor of individual contracts for most of my life.
But there’s an issue - with individual contracts there’s a greater degree of uncertainty every time someone goes to court over them.
It’s the same as with individual contracts in other areas. Say, labor.
Power balance matters.
So - ideally yes, but in our real world with our real legal and enforcement systems - we may not be able to. Same as with labor, again.
Well I doubt it would be truely individualized. Probably something more like a menu of terms that everyone else is using would quickly develop. Maybe a few numbers to customize. But mostly boilerplate. And probably requiring arbitration.
So reading a 200+ page EULA before saying I do, got it.
that’s the opposite of the point of these laws. the entire point of this and no fault divorce is that the state shouldn’t dictate relationships. how are you going to adjudicate cheating anyway?
How?
If person a is shown to have been cheating then person a loses any claim to alimony.
Pretty simple.
Person A in divorce court “judge I want alimony”
Person B in divorce court “your honor Person A was cheating here’s the proof”
Judge “ no alimony will be awarded from Person B to Person A”
Why should anyone be allowed to get alimony after cheating? That’s just insult to injury.
Your spouse cheats you walk in on it and now you want a divorce. Added bonus you have to pay money to the cheater for life???
How does that make sense?
It should literally be law that the alimony goes away at that point.
People who are so concerned about that possibility can just require their prospective spouse to sign a prenup with conditions like that on alimony, as a condition of getting married.
There are a number of states where the prenup is all but worthless.
But can you legally marry multiple people
It kinda should be IMO. If you can’t not be faithful, don’t fucking get married and be a cheating piece of shit.
Do you not see the issues with having the state enforce that?
yeah great idea. criminalise everything. had your freedom to the state. the american dream
If you’re worried about the American dream I have shit loads of horrible news for you since you haven’t been paying attention for the last 40 fucking years apparently.
Being able to be a cheating shitbag with no consequences should be the least of your concerns at this point.
Yet somehow you’re arguing to make it worse.
Hope your life never gets destroyed by a cheater, enjoy your ignorance.
Ahhh
Now it makes sense.
If someone cheated on you. Go live your best life. Because there’s something else that commonly happens to guys if they don’t, and it seems to be what’s happening here
I don’t think anyone is saying that it’s ok and there should be no consequences, just that it’s not a matter for the law. The law isn’t really about what’s moral and immoral. There are plenty of immoral things that are legal and moral things that are illegal. I think it’s wrong to cut in line but I don’t think we should be locking people up for it. I also think in many cases stealing is morally justifiable but I don’t necessarily think we should make stealing legal.
I think it’s wrong to cut in line but I don’t think we should be locking people up for it.
IDK, you might be onto something here.
This is why we need to bring back stockades. Perfect punishment for that kind of shit. Just lock someone up in public let people deride them and throw vegetables at them all day and then let them go.
Pointing to other bad decisions to justify your bad decisions is a bad look no matter what, friend.
I was married, we had an open relationship from the start. How is that criminal?
That’s not cheating, that’s an open marriage. They’re two different things.
It would have been criminal under the law. I cheated, she cheated. It was the law, whatever agreement she and I had was immaterial.
