I was invited to my brother’s wedding, but he didn’t invite my mother because he still has a petty grudge against her, and he obviously wants to turn me against my mother. I’ve also ignored the RSVP, but I don’t know if anyone knows this.
I did not tell my co-workers about the wedding. I didn’t even WANT to bring the subject up. But my co-workers know my brother very well, and they REALLY want me to go to my brother’s wedding. I told them “Let me check my schedule” because I don’t want to talk to them about my family drama, but they told me “You have to go. You want to see them walking your nephew, right?”
What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to avoid this conversation? How can I tell them I’m not going without creating drama?
Grow up.
Reply to the RSVP with a polite “unable to attend.”
Tell your coworkers “I am unable to attend.”
Anyone who asks more than that deserves a slap and a discussion with HR.
Fuck 'em. It’s your life. Live it.
Go and RSVP +1 and bring your mom
Get her to wear a white dress too.
Man, if I had that kind of fucked-up enmeshment at work, I’d be looking for another job.
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Talk to your Mother about this.
Think I haven’t tried that, already?
One option I’m not seeing presented is to politely show up, offer congratulations, and then slip out early before any group photos or anyone can pull you aside to talk drama
Or if that’s not doable just don’t go. Any coworker harasses you for it, report to HR.
Step one- the coworkers need to fuck off. Start with a polite, but firm “it’s none of your fucking business” and get less polite the more they push.
Step 2, if your brother is trying to weaponize your coworkers, tell him to fucking stop. If he’s just coming around, be somewhat more polite and still tell him to stop. If he switched to “I’m just visiting [the coworkers] your manager probably would like to know- ex employees still coming round is never a good idea even if they left amicably.
Step 2b (or maybe step 3) tell your brother that you don’t want to be drawn into whatever is going on with him and your mom, and that’s why you can’t go. If he’s continues trying to pull you in, you can tell him to fuck off too.
It sounds a lot like your brother has issues with boundaries. Set your boundaries and enforce them. Also don’t let your mom pull you into it on her side, either.
Who gives a fuck?
If they want to go, they can go. Otherwise just say “family issues” and leave it at that. Fuck anyone feeling like you have to go to make them happy.Just tell them what you wrote about your mother and your brother. If they don’t want to understand, ignore them.
Vehicle issues ‘last minute’
Fuckit, give yourself a flat tire, this ain’t difficult…
you wont go, you just want validation. get positive covid papers from the doc.
