My work/life balance is waaaaaay off.
I like my actual job. I like the people I work with. But when it’s a 55-hour work week with a 1-hour one-way commute, it’s exhausting. I’m missing out on time to be a dad, to engage in hobbies and self-care, home, social life, etc, because the down time I do have is usually spent resting and summoning the energy to go back to the grind the next day. Yeah I use my PTO and sick days, of course. The downside to that is that for an hourly employee that translates to a pretty big chunk out of my paycheck.
We’ve recently had a leadership shakeup here and our new boss is a younger millennial who supposedly has a more enlightened approach to running a business and taking care of its employees. We keep hearing rumors of increased PTO and promises to address work hours but we don’t expect to actually see any changes until after the new year.
I’ve looked for other jobs and generally what I’ve found is sites with toxic work cultures and/or negligible increases in pay and it’s not worth it for me. And I don’t want to take a job in another state that takes me even further away from my kid. So for now, odious as it is, I’ll stick with it and see how things shake out next year.
I’m not going to pretend that I’m the only one with this problem, and I’m not looking for advice, so if you’re about to post advice I’m going to ignore it. I just wanted to get it off my chest.
I’m an unpaid intern who has 45 hours work week alongside a 2hrs 15 min one way commute, if that helps you feel better about your life.
My parents flew in for a two week visit and good god I cannot wait for them to leave. Distance has not made this heart grow fonder and despite years of therapy, it’s still so hard to deal with this or set boundaries before them.
They’re unbelievably selfish. Ridiculous alcoholics. They hate each other but won’t break up, which just means they’re both so annoying. And they are so, so childish.
My younger self deserves so many hugs for going through life with them. And my adult self is struggling but doing the best they can. But they’ll be gone soon. Thank goodness
You can resolve the past and create your own future, you are never stuck anywhere regardless of what happened to you.
These big sloppy titties
I have ended up in a really weird place in my life. I remember all the decisions I made that got me here, and none of them seemed like particularly good decisions, but it has worked out to the point that if I were to tell everyone here about it, it would look like a lie to make myself feel better. Life is not perfect for me but the problems I have are things I can solve.
I dislike my boss’s lack of empathy and autistic-like ways. I have a safe, secure job and I am very fortunate; plus, I have adapted to his ways, so it does not take much effort to navigate at this stage—I have learned to try not to take it personally. However, the clumsy social interactions and irritated hostility he displays irk me. He is a bright guy, but sometimes he is confidently wrong, and then, months later, when a decision he made has a negative impact, he acts like it was not his. In our interactions, he holds the power, and I just kind of wish that the gloves could come off, as they would in a level social situation, where i could retort with impunity and ultimately punch the prick out. Not that violence is ever the answer. But God it would be satisfying.
People that get jealous and/or insecure are so exhausting. And not because I don’t want to reassure them. It’s because you make me feel bad for being myself. So I’m not sorry my light is brighter than yours that’s not my problem or I will make it your problem. I’ll make sure my light shines extra bright because it makes you so upset. I’m not being unreasonable here, I’m not trying to make you feel bad about yourself, most likely I’m not even thinking about you. And if I am I just wish you didn’t try to dim my light. It really hurts. If communication about your abusive behavior makes you feel bad about yourself I hope you find peace and that you get over it because I do want good things for you. You say I don’t try to help you but all you do is deflect and blame me for your unhappiness. Just don’t put me in fight or flight or start shit on purpose and I can give you what you want. I’m physically unable to give you what you want if I can’t be calm and not worry about every little thing. I know intentions aren’t everything but you seem to think so. “Who cares if they get upset if I have good intentions right? I don’t have to care about their feelings it’s just my feelings you need to care about” is how it looks on the outside. Getting mad and fighting with me and getting my heart rate up is a great way to make me feel comfortable and safe around you so I can give you what you want /s. It’s really that simple. I do care about you and if you think I’m being neglectful then ask nicely, we’re all adults here. If I hurt you I want to change so it doesn’t happen again but you are a brick wall. I know strong emotions suck but I can’t figure out how you should deal with them, I can’t do those things for you. Put some effort into it, I know you know how to figure things out and you’re smart so why can’t you see what’s best for you? And I’m not a therapist, I only know how I can help myself, but I try to help others by having curiosity and having empathy. And I talk to them softly and politely. You don’t get someone to open up to you by yelling at them and being angry. Communicate your feelings if you can and don’t take them out on me. I know life is hard but why be the scorpion that kills us both just because of your own greed? You’re causing unnecessary pain and you lie about yourself. I’m doing literally everything I can to give you what you want and it doesn’t make a difference if I do or not. I know you care about the attention I give you so that’s your incentive. And instead of being mad at me be mad at yourself and grow a fucking spine. I don’t feel bad you say you hate yourself and stuff like that because it feels like you hate me instead. I’m being myself and that’s a problem? You say I don’t try to laugh and joke with you but you force it and it makes me anxious. Those moments do happen it’s just not good enough. And I’m sorry but love me as I am and I will love you as you are. It feels like you don’t love me and you want me gone. It’s really confusing when you cry when I go on a trip like you’ll miss me but then you cause tension at home while I’m gone and I can’t do anything to protect her. And you can’t hide it from me either because it’s just a drop in the bucket at this point. I can tell when something is wrong and when you’re upset but if I ask it will start a fight. And that’s not fair. I want to be there for you but you don’t let me and you treat me like shit for it. You’re so confusing. Ughhhhhh
