I’ve got an elderly cat that became my responsibility through… circumstances.
He’s a lot of work. He has zero personality or charisma. Worst of all, he harasses me for wet food his whole waking existence. Food motivated is not the word, it’s the only thing he knows, or cares about.
I’m not going to be sad when he dies.


When I was 4 or 5 my parents had a dog. Don’t even know what kind of dog it was. All I know is it bit me on the face. Enough to cut my cheek open. And from that point on I didn’t like the dog, avoided the dog, just…fuck that dog, ya know.
At some point the dog was outside and got hit by a passing UPS delivery truck. I remember my parents being beside themselves, trying to explain to me that we were never going to see Buttons again, and I could have not have felt any more indifferent.