No. You kids and your TikTok and lazy demonology are going too far. Just yesterday there was a goddamn portal open to one of the more superficial layers of The Abyss right in the yogurt section of my local Stop & Shop. Surely it was some 3-year-old in a shopping cart mumbling along to The Lesser Keys of Solomon their mother handed them on their iPad. I had to steal some saffron and cloves from the store to close it, only to find out that the only greek yogurt available was the flavored kind.
Look man, not all of us have access to the damn Akashic Record. Some of us only had shittily translated versions of the Lesser Key when we were kids. Grimoires don’t grow on trees, you know.
No. You kids and your TikTok and lazy demonology are going too far. Just yesterday there was a goddamn portal open to one of the more superficial layers of The Abyss right in the yogurt section of my local Stop & Shop. Surely it was some 3-year-old in a shopping cart mumbling along to The Lesser Keys of Solomon their mother handed them on their iPad. I had to steal some saffron and cloves from the store to close it, only to find out that the only greek yogurt available was the flavored kind.
I am done.
Look man, not all of us have access to the damn Akashic Record. Some of us only had shittily translated versions of the Lesser Key when we were kids. Grimoires don’t grow on trees, you know.
I love you.