I wanna do really many things (as hobbies). But mostly I just think of them and nothing more. I have plenty of time and I still do some things, but that’s not enough. So how do I make my wannabe hobbies become my habits?
- Step 1: Figure out why you’re not doing thing.
- Step 2: Take steps to address the reason why you’re not doing thing.
Seems simple, and in a way it is, but in other ways it can be very difficult.
On step 1, I recommend first researching the term “maladaptive daydreaming”. Seems relevant to what you’re describing.
For me it was lack of structure, so what got me going was actually scheduling a class. Then the obligation would kick in because I made the commitment. Even better if it’s a regularly occurring class because then people will start to recognize you and take note if you missed. Which re-enforces the cycle!
Is this hobby you want to start actually something you find fun or something you think you’d enjoy if you were the person you think you are?
My tricks to get going; Talk to people about it, this gives me external accountability. It then becomes ”I said I was gonna do it” and I don’t want to be someone who just talks shit. Or the person joins the activity and that makes it much harder to skip.
Think about the end goal or find a critical point. If i want to be a hobby farmer, i need to do the boring part of soil prep. Otherwise summer comes and Ill again be a shit talker. If i don’t sow these seeds now, theres nothing to farm later.
Prepare a work station and leave stuff out; In place and in the way. I make little specialised toolboxes or work stations. Its about lowering the barrier to getting started.
Simplify your ideas. You don’t need to see A-Z. Just reaching B can change circumstances and create inspiration. I employ ”donkey mode” by briefly considering the consequence of doing a bad job, how poorly others have done it but still succeeding, and repeat the mantra donkey mode donkey mode. I can deal with the consequence of my poor labour after the fact. Someone already made it worse than I did.
If things feel insurmountable; just focus on a small thing. I have many projects running in parallel and taking just a single step forward is great. When all the pieces are in place: execute. Dig that damn garden, don’t worry what gets planted.
And don’t be afraid to cut projects loose or shelve them. Having an infinite todo list where hobbies usually get knocked down, prevents the brain from feeling ”done and settled”, which keeps me from getting into something fun.
Cheers and good luck ✌️
Make daydreaming your hobby. Way cheaper.
I find telling someone it’s already done and that you’ll show them tomorrow focuses the mind quite efficiently.
For me, it’s committing to the first step, and then following through one step at a time. I also commit to making progress, and take some pride in making progress each time--“okay, today was a good day, progress was made.” That way, I don’t get overwhelmed.
I’m currently building a bed, the first step was planning the bed, then gathering the materials, and the new tools I needed, and so forth. One step at a time without worrying about how long it’s taking, or if I didn’t make any progress on some days. It’s been a couple of weeks, and I’m about 85% done. I’ll probably complete it sometime next week, but there’s no deadline, or hurry.
One final tip I’ve read is that you should not tell anyone in detail what you are planning, until you’ve started and have committed. Because, simply talking with someone else about doing a thing can scratch the itch to do it, and you will feel less motivated to follow through.
Psychological tricks with external help.
Specifically reserve time for them, plan them out in advance, do something every day if you can and set reminders. There are even apps that try to support you with habit forming.
So if for example 6pm to 7:30pm is hobby time, every day, and you treat it like an appointment you have to go to (with yourself).
Plan your projects in advance. This can be done during that hobby time, but be sure to write down which tools and material you need, so you can just pick it up. Also, it helps if things are organized, if you just need to grab a box and it has everything in it, that’s easier to pick up and put down than searching and collecting all your tools every time you need them.
Honestly, just starting any activity is the hardest part. Find something you want to try, and just force yourself to do it. If you like it, then keep going. If not, maybe the hobby isn’t what you imagined.
Any chance you have undiagnosed ADHD? Do you have similar difficulties motivating yourself to start other things in your life, even when you actively want to? Even if you can do those things - but starting is always the biggest hurdle? Or just with this hobby example?
It is possible, but never thought this to be a potential ADHD symptome
Decision paralysis is definitely a symptom of ADHD. Part of the whole executive dysfunction thing.
Not saying you have ADHD, but it might be worthwhile to poke around common symptoms and do some introspection as well.
Executive dysfunction. It’s real, and it sucks, a lot. Very much an ADHD thing.
This is exactly how ADHD works for me at least.
Pick one. Do thing.
I wrote a novella four years ago in a manic buzz. It’s just a first draft, but I loved every minute of it. I realized this week, actually, that I was putting that magic energy on a pedestal and was just waiting around until the bug bit me again to get to writing. That’s not… going to happen. So, instead, I decided to write every day. Just a few minutes, at least. It’s day 3 and I’ve written more than I have in the last 3 years.
So, probably make it less intimidating. Do it smaller, small enough to actually get started.
One thing that helps me is thinking of the smallest possible first step, then committing to doing that thing alone. For instance, if I’m having trouble getting myself to write something, I might tell myself to just make a few bullet points of things that need to be included or write a single unedited paragraph. If I’m having trouble studying something I want to study, I might tell myself to make/go through one flashcard. Usually I end up writing more than a few bullet points/that one paragraph and doing far more than one flashcard.
Watch Nathan For You
We only really do things within what we are used to by habit. You can pick up a new hobby by revisiting the same time every day or every few days to do something related to that task or to just do something random, then you have time where you feel like doing random thing at that time. I have to cook for everyone i live with most days at the middle of the day so i always take a break from working then, i literally always feel like stopping work come 12:00 or sometimes even 11:00. Can’t fight this unless i’m in flow state and literally know someone else will make food today.
I think i’ve already shared with someome recently, but this video is a great guide on habit formation and making time for things. AA: Truth about effortless yet insane productivity
personal anecdotes
Something that took me a long time to make a habit is running, because i actually don’t like doing exercise habitually, and i wanted it to be connected more to whether i feel like doing it. The key is to do build up activities - for running this included walks, to build up stamina, and to pick out different routes i could use. Also, tedting out different stretches and leg workouts.
Spoiler alert: exercise really should be a scheduled thing, that’s what makes it Exercise™︎, like “Your body gets fitter” and not just exercise the biology term for “some calories are burned, i guess. Whatever.”
Another hobby: pickling. First few times i was focusing on testing different jars i had, and practicing sanitisation of them, so i only made 1-2 jars of stuff at once.
The first step is to gauge what time of the day you feel like doing that thing and can feasibly do it, and it might mean killing one activity you do at that time. And scheduling it - i just mark it out on google calendar and then get a notification reminding me. This takes advantage of the sunk cost fallacy, you’ve already sunk a small little effort+planning cost into it and now want to see the task through. It’s also like an appointment - a date/meeting with yourself.
You can also juat use that time tk sit down and read about the hobby and then if ideas come to you whike you’re reading inspiration/guides, you can immediateoy get up and do them.
