Yeah, but all the inattentive parents can now successfully pass on their genes and social values… Which is why we’re seeing a huge age verification push online right now. If those people or their children got mauled or eaten at higher rates then we wouldn’t have this problem.
I’m here to represent the Wolf In Your Neighborhood Movement.
With enough funds raised, we can deliver a pack of wild ass wolves to a neighborhood of your choosing. It might be yours, it might be that of a neighboring community.
Our wolves are bred to the highest standards and are promised to be the most lean, fast, and aggressive wolves you can find anywhere. They’re real assholes.
They solve many problems such as:
People who jog in the road
Irritating pets left outside/unsupervised
Irritating children left outside/unsupervised
Too many deer
Humans that lack common sense
Humans that cannot run fast
Humans that are taking out their trash
Porch pirates
Caribbean Pirates
Door to door solicitations
Religious folks
If you’re willing to donate money to our cause, we can have a pack of wolves into the neighborhood of your choosing in under 30 days.
To your point, I think if their natural predators were still around we’d also have a lot fewer children around.
Venison salami IS delicious.
Don’t let your kids wander into the wilderness unattended and they won’t get preyed upon.
You’re silly, I like you. Their natural predators will gladly figure out how to open the sliding door on your back porch to explore.
Yeah, but all the inattentive parents can now successfully pass on their genes and social values… Which is why we’re seeing a huge age verification push online right now. If those people or their children got mauled or eaten at higher rates then we wouldn’t have this problem.
I’m here to represent the Wolf In Your Neighborhood Movement.
With enough funds raised, we can deliver a pack of wild ass wolves to a neighborhood of your choosing. It might be yours, it might be that of a neighboring community.
Our wolves are bred to the highest standards and are promised to be the most lean, fast, and aggressive wolves you can find anywhere. They’re real assholes.
They solve many problems such as:
People who jog in the road Irritating pets left outside/unsupervised Irritating children left outside/unsupervised Too many deer Humans that lack common sense Humans that cannot run fast Humans that are taking out their trash Porch pirates Caribbean Pirates Door to door solicitations Religious folks
If you’re willing to donate money to our cause, we can have a pack of wolves into the neighborhood of your choosing in under 30 days.