Why or why not?

If so, would it depend on how they present or their assigned gender at birtb or something else?

(Edit: fixed AGAB to confuse less people. Sorry people.)

  • HrabiaVulpes@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    3 days ago

    To be fair, I don’t think I would date someone whose whole personality is just their gender…

    Aside from that - depends who they are, how they behave etc.

  • Devolution@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    29
    ·
    5 days ago

    No. I am very much a CIS only kind of guy. Now would I abuse them or be mean? No. But sexual attraction is all about preferences. As a black guy here, will I be offended because some women do not want to date a black man? No. Their preference. Same here.

        • DisguisedJoker@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          5 days ago

          How so? Could you give some examples of reasons that would and reasons that wouldn’t matter? I’m not sure what these would be, but something tells me that we might find the reason for someone’s preference against NB might be similarly important as someone’s preference to not date a black man 🤔

  • jaycifer@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    3 days ago

    This is a messy but interesting question to sort my thoughts on. First, I did date a non-binary person for a couple years and ended things on good terms. I’m AMAB, they’re AFAB on testosterone. I’ll admit I felt a little weird as their transition took effect over time with thicker leg hair and a peach fuzz mustache.

    Second, I’ve considered myself a sex-positive asexual person since I learned the term, so I’m not certain I should be answering this. I’ve always been confused when someone is called hot, but I like the mental/emotional intimacy and physical touch of sex. I’ve come to realize recently that I’d probably be okay being intimate with a woman or feminine partner with a dick, but since I would like to have kids some day it wouldn’t really work for a romantic relationship.

    Third, that partner has half-jokingly said that you have to be a little gay to date them, so I don’t know that any person that would date a non-binary person can call themself 100% straight, which means technically nobody should be answering this question at all :P

    • GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      3 days ago

      Ace enby lesbian here. I generally feel the same way. I’m attracted to femininity, equipment really doesn’t factor into how I feel about a woman. Or about femme-presenting people in general. I just think girls are pretty.

  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    4 days ago

    I had an on-again-off-again thing with an AFAB person who identified as non-binary for the latter part of that time. Still had a vagina, still enjoyed PIV, still had a body I found attractive, so whatever. Only real difficulty was cutting gendered language out of dirty talk, especially with them being a sub.

    Admittedly, I’m kind of a gender-abolitionist anyway. Biological sex I get, I like putting my penis in a vagina. Body-type aesthetic preferences I get, but those are pretty individual in the first place: some people like tits, some like ass, some like skinny, some like thick, some like short, some like tall; there are plenty of women I don’t find attractive but others do, and vice versa. But outside that, gender just seems socially regressive. So long as I am sexually attracted to you and you like having sex roughly the same way I do, the rest is just personality.

    I’m sincerely not sure how social gender would affect my relationship.

  • Mudman@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    4 days ago

    Tbh. Am straight, and I wouldn’t date them, even if I’d find them attractive. Just because I don’t have time and nerves to deal with confusion of something so fundamental.

  • YeahIgotskills2@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    21
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    5 days ago

    Probably not, because I’m generally not attracted to biological males as they usually don’t have the physical attributes I find attractive. Sure, feminine attributes can be achieved through surgery, drugs and makeup, but I’d prefer a natural woman and since there is that choice, that’s what I’d prefer.

    Before you get upset, know that this is my honest opinion. I’ll respect you however you identify and will happily hang out with anyone. And I’m sure i’d find some non-binary folk physically attractive, but as I have a choice and I’m a cis hetro then that’s my answer.

  • NCR Trooper@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    3 days ago

    As someone with a non-binary partner I feel obligated to answer. Sure, I don’t really care what they were born as, as long as they’re polite and actually love me, I don’t really care if they’re non-binary or a woman (I could be biased though since I never dated a non-binary person who was birthed a male, my non-binary partner was born a woman so I don’t really know)

  • wampus@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    4 days ago

    Likely not, though there are always exceptions.

    Friends for sure. The big difference to me, between dating and being friends, is the level of physical intimacy and sexual attraction between the people in the relationship – and ideally, you want that to be a strong enough bond that you can rely on each other for those needs almost exclusively. I can’t realistically picture such a bond with a non binary person, similar to how I don’t think such a bond can be as exclusive/strong with someone who is ‘gender fluid’ (as it’d feel like I’d never live up to the expectations of a partner that wanted to physically/materially play around with both men and women, seeing as I’m just one of the two). I also find myself more attracted to certain generally more feminine characteristics, which would likely not work out well if the other person is non-binary – I wouldn’t want someone I cared about, changing/masking who they are, just for my benefit, so I wouldn’t want to put them into that sort of dilemma by pursuing a relationship.

    There’s nothing wrong with being non-binary. There’s also nothing wrong with not being attracted to non-binary people.

    Then again, my viewpoint has resulted in me being a single middle aged person with no real immediate family, and few close friends (they tend to go ‘poof’ once they find a wife/husband and start families). So being somewhat mindful of these things, may have negative results in the long run for most cis-folks. May be better to just hook up with anything with a pulse, and try to get some kids/connections by any means, if you don’t want to die alone. Throw every relationship at the wall and see what sticks – any hole’s a goal.

  • cmbabul@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    4 days ago

    I’m sexually attracted exclusively to feminine presenting people and repulsed by masculine presenting people. I don’t really care about what’s between legs but I am much more experience with vaginas. But I’m a hoe and don’t really know what to call my sexuality

  • Tedesche@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    4 days ago

    Probably not, just because I don’t think I can really relate to that identity. If I’m being honest, I just don’t really understand it. It seems more like a cultural phenomenon to me than a real identity that is based on some biological reality, even if just in the brain. I’m not saying I don’t think a brain biology couldn’t produce something like that, but it seems much more likely to be the product of cultural factors than that to me.

    Addendum: Plus, I honestly find it hard to use gender neutral or gender-sex unaligned pronouns if the person still looks like their biological sex. I don’t think I’d want to deal with using gender neutral pronouns with a partner that looks female, and being straight, I probably wouldn’t be attracted to an androgynous or male-looking person.

  • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    edit-2
    4 days ago

    This is a question that’s been brought up irl recently (alongside whether I would date a trans woman) and the honest answer is I simply don’t know. I’d have to be presented with someone non-binary who I’m attracted to (and just as importantly, vice versa) to really form an opinion.

    I lean towards probably not, but there’s been two occasions I’ve been surprised at my impression of a non-AGAB, feminine presenting person. But two people vs. many more cis-women, so idk.

    It is a pretty striking “well, this is new” experience when you’re not expecting it though. And it did get a warranty sold, that much I’ll admit.