For those who might ask “What does that even mean?”, this is what I’m reading that triggered the question: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/transformative-experience/
Recent can mean the most recent you can remember, even if it was years ago. Interested in what y’all might say.
New job that’s WFH if you want.
I can now see my kid every day, stop wasting annual leave for a delivery or CBA days. I can keep on top of chores while working.
I don’t get paid any more but I’m spending less and more importantly I’m gaining back time and seeing my family.
It’s made me happier, more fulfilled and a better dad.
Some of my office mates worked from home during COVID and their complaint was that is always felt like they were at work because of it and that separating work life from home life was difficult. Do you find that to be true?
No. Mainly because it’s flexible and I still do come into the office 2-3 days a week on average and when at home I have strict boundaries, I work set hours, take a lunch and switch off at the end of my “shift”.
When I’ve got busy days or meetings I’ll still come into the office. The flexibility is the key benefit. Finish early, go in late, pick up the kids, go home to collect a parcel, stay at home if I had too many beers etc.
That sounds absolutely amazing. I find the office to be overwhelming some days, but I also don’t like isolation. You are my new goal.
Trust me it’s incredible. I think it has benefits for the employer too.
Cheaper real estate and the other week I was ill, not horribly but didn’t want to spread anything so I just stayed at home. I didn’t get a mark on my record and the boss didn’t have to schedule my work to anyone else.
I feel like it’s only beneficial for two kinds of people: those who’re trying to save money or those who’re trying to save their time. If you don’t fall into either of the categories then WFH can make you feel very lonely and isolated specially if you live alone.
Right but who doesn’t want to save money or time? My job still has the option of working in the office as much as you want. It’s not an all or nothing equation.
Oh I’m not talking about your job in particular. I was mostly speaking about forced work from home. Hybrid way of working is the best of both worlds (more or less).
Also I meant WFH (not hybrid) is bad for people who want to go out and socialize but can’t. Making it so they take less and less care of themselves. Obviously this isn’t for everyone but a large number of people working from home suffer from this issue.
For many people, it helps to have a “work place” at home. I don’t have any space for an office but I realized we never use the dining room so I set up an office there. Now the Dining room is “work” and i goto a different room when I’m “home”
It is a nice change in a lot of cases - getting that commuting time back can be a game changer, particularly if you have kids.
Do agree with the other person about it being a double-edged sword (I’m definitely in the ‘it’s kind of isolating’ camp) - though at the same time it can serve as a push to creating more connections outside of work.
(Though some of us, myself included, don’t really respond to the push I guess).
Good answer! I’m glad this is working for you!
Yeah I can see the double edged sword. I guess “WFH if you want” is doing some heavy lifting in my reply. My best friend is permanant remote with no office and lives alone and I bet it’s isolating. Where as I have kids, wife and a shit tonne of chores so I don’t get the same isolation issues but I could definitely see some instances where it could be an issue.
I think the hybrid model is perfect. I’ll go to the office for important meetings, so I don’t have distractions and can truly get in the zone.
Agreed. My own problem is that my role is very disconnected from my local office - so it was isolating even before I was made WFH.
At the same time, though, isolating wearing business casual (I’ve yet to find a business casual get-up I’ve found 100% comfortable), or isolating while getting to work in boxers if I so choose. Hmm. Tough choice :p
Try get involved in some teams chats, hell even call some people for a chat about work.
Maybe arrange a 3 monthly pub quiz or meal out with the team. People are receptive to that kind of thing and can really bond the team.
Kinda disingenuous to your employer to spend your billed hours doing chores around the house tbh
As opposed to sat on lemmy at work or at the tea machine? My downtime and output isn’t changed, but rather than being forced to make small talk or sat staring into space when I want 5m, I can do stuff around my house.
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I had neurosurgery to correct brain stem compression. I regained the ability to walk without weakness and tremors and to function in general.
I had to fight my insurance company for months because they denied my first surgery due to their perceived lack of “medical necessity.”
The USA I assume
That’s. Fucking. Amazing (not the insurance company, fuck those guys).
I’m stoked you were finally able to get the necessary treatment! Sounds like a tough fucking road, but you made it! Congrats!!
psycadelics
Lol, me too my friend, me too. If you don’t want to it’s cool, but could you expand on that?
Something has always been wrong with my brain. When I was a kid it was called “ADD”, somewhere along the line they added an “H”. Various medications were tried when I was younger to try and combat this, but they either didn’t help or would cause other more serious problems. As a kid nobody had to tell me not to do drugs, because the drugs given to me made me feel terrible and I couldn’t understand why anyone would WANT to feel like that. A little later on in life I got drunk a few times, and that wasn’t fun either.
A few years ago, my wife got her medical marijuana card. Because my wife and I are two halves of a whole idiot, whatever she tries I’m going to try as well. She gave me a gummy with 10mg of THC in it.
Suddenly, I could decide what to pay attention to.
That seems minor, doesn’t it? But I want you to imagine: you’ve struggled with everything for your entire life. You have to force yourself to do anything at all, even if it’s interesting. And then one day a beautiful woman gives you a small piece of candy and it’s like a switch was closed, and now I could just decide what to focus on. Laundry? Washed, dried, folded, and put up. I can keep the house clean. I can focus on things at work. And the really cool part, is I don’t have to take so much that I’m high to get the power of divine focus.
In fact, I don’t have to take it at all, because one of the things I like to do is figure out how stuff works, and it’s worse when I’m high. One night I decided to sit down and look inwards to see if I could make my mind cooperate with me without needing THC, and I was able to. I can sort of function as a contributing member of society now. I haven’t missed a bill for years. My credit score went from 500 something to mid 700s. I don’t get mad at stupid stuff anymore. My home life was pretty good before, but now my wife and I get along so well that if I were to tell everyone how we are with each other, it would sound made up because it’s too good to be true.
Shrooms. Started tripping, and within a month I actually was beginning to handle my depression, anxiety, subsequently got a good paying job (was burnt out for around a year after college), feel pretty decent about life, and am still kind of going through some aspects and improving my life. I kind of am of the opinion that if you you don’t have to worry about psychosis, trip at least once in your life (I’ve become that friend that recommends drugs, but for a reason). For some people, that can make an amazing amount of difference either in their personal life, or how they actually react to others. The biggest takeaway I got was how to actually listen to other on more than a just surface level without really trying.
Psychedelics can be a game changer, for sure!
I’ve dabbled - and I am happy to say one lasting benefit is the little voice that said “God I wish I could just shoot myself right now”, several times a day, for years, is gone.
Integration is key, though - but it sounds like you’ve got that on lock. Life’s the real trip, but tripping can help remind you of that (at least, sometimes, for a lot of but not all people).
Oh, absolutely. It took a bit until the tripping actually got the whole integration of the experience down. I actually went to interview for my current job about 2 days after a trip, still had that sense of perspective and it made it a much easier experience where I was able to keep myself rather calm, and I suspect that might have been one of the things that made everything work out in the end. Just to note, I’m not saying the psychodelics will solve all of your problems (still fixing quite a few I made over the last year while severely depressed), but they will often help you stay on the right track.
I got my very first pet 2 years ago: a cat. She’s shy, selfish, whiny, sometimes annoying and yet, I love this creature. I see why some people compare pets to kids because this is what unconditional love must feel like.
Starting to meditate
Thank you for the reminder that I need to get back to the mat. At very least, I can say for myself that even aftet dropping the habit, the skill of stopping, recognizing a feeling or thought I’m having, and just observing it before letting it dictate my actions has been so. fucking. helpful. And hasn’t gone away yet, thank god!
Would love to hear about your practice and what it has changed for you, if you feel like talking about that.
My wife told me she’d leave me if I kept drinking and driving so i… dropped that bitch 🤣 sorry honeybuns, but BEER COMES FIRST 🍺🥴🍺
