“Good morning”
The morning had, in fact, not been properly evaluated and I could at the time not fully judge whether it was “good” or not. It was definitely cold though, but I did not want to say “cold morning” as that is not one of the expected greetings.
The morning turned out “good” after a full evaluation, so I fortunately did not have to go back and apologize for any misinformation.
I prefer to just abbreviate it as 'morning. Then it can be interpreted as an observation that it is, in fact, morning
“I love you, mom”
(what I really mean: “Please don’t abandon me, I still have separation anxiety issues because of your emotional neglect/abuse”)
Today my friend’s gf challenged me to an arm wrestling match to prove to her friend that she was as strong as a man now. She’s started doing karate a few months ago and she never stops talking about it. She’s super proud of the results she achieved. Anyway, they asked me because I happened to be closest guy in the friend group to her. I thought it was a joke and so I put out my arm while barely applying any pressure, but she was taking it seriously. She was clenching her teeth and holding her breath, and her face started turning red. I felt nothing… but I felt really bad for her and didn’t want to humiliate her in front of her friend so I pretended to struggle and lost.
“How was your Christmas break?”
“Good.”
One of my kids left a piece of candy corn for the tooth fairy last night, hoping to fool them into leaving money for the “tooth”.
So I pretended to be astounded when he found a note from the tooth fairy this morning, saying essentially “nice try!” in my wife’s left-handed handwriting :p He did get a penny out of it, though!
No, I don’t know where your chocolate buttons are.
(I ate them earlier in a moment of weakness)
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Diabetic. Told my wife I was at 134… More like 334.
My wife asked how many different games I’m regularly playing each day.
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Most recent white lie: probably something I said not to hurt another person (cute baby/you did great/how could he/etc).
Most recent indecent lie (to save my own ass/to defame or to hurt somebody/etc): I have never tried drugs.
I never lie.
I lied about my bonus this year to a girl I started talking to on Tinder because I fucked up and accidentally told her the real number, which is much higher than normal.
“Living the dream.”
I definitely did not accidentally break my ArchLinux (BTW) install for some time because I failed to read the wiki entry for grub when switching from systemd-boot.
Totally didn’t happen.






