I’m with everyone else, does ANYONE really care about those?
I always responded with “You fucked MY mom? What is wrong with you she is fucking disgusting.” That would take their power away and put the onus of embarrassment on them. Worked pretty well. It’s hard to joke about someone’s mom or anything for that matter if the person you are trying to make fun of takes it in stride and turns it around on you.
I always used this:
“I fucked your mom last night!”
“Ew. You need to get yourself tested…”
I like to act like they just reminded me that she asked me to talk to them about it and then start talking about some really bizarre fetish stuff that she can’t deal with anymore.
One of my favorite ones actually got gagging noises from another person in the room. ‘Look, she asked me to talk to you about the diaper thing. Hold on. Don’t get upset… she’s fine with you wearing them, and even fine with you “soiling” them, but she can’t deal with you bringing them in “pre-soiled” anymore. It’s not like it happens every time you put on a different one, but even if only 1 out 10 has an issue with cough “leakage”, that’s still at least 2 times per night that she has to stop and clean it up or else the smell just like never leaves the room… and anyway, she says that really kills the mood.’
Insults like that can be replaced with the words “I am trying to upset you” in the same way any line delivered by Brian Blessed can be replaced with the words “Did someone order a LARGE HAM?” so… no, not really.
I don’t give a shit about such insults.
They just show I’m facing another moron, which I can beat intellectually with hardly any effort.
How about a reply along the lines of, OK I’m sure she enjoyed that, how was it for you to fuck a 60 year old woman?
Or alternatively: Oh were you the impotent one she mentioned? It’s easy to throw back an insult twice as bad.I was once in a bar in the winter where some local was trying to be harass me because we had signed up for the billiard table.
I was wearing a IMO very cool scarf, and the local walked up to me, feeling my scarf and asking if my mom had made that for me.
And I responded (truthfully) that no, it was not my mom but my sister who had made it.
He had no idea how to respond to that, because I had at once told him that no, I am not a mothers baby, but I do have a nice family. So yes indeed I probably did come from a better family than him.He was at a complete loss for words, and simply walked away, because he had no response to that.
Insults about family are moronic, some random stranger don’t know your family anyway, so it’s 100% made up and not worth getting offended over. On the other hand it shows an infantile mentality that can be easily manipulated if you keep your cool.
It’s so easy to throw such shit back at them doubly, and they tend to get confused, because they know they were beat with next to no effort.
Switching gears a little bit, I heard one of the funniest comebacks from my friends son when he was 12.
He was horsing around with his friends and one said “you’re gayyyyy”.
Scotty, without skipping a beat retorted
“Oh so I fuck your father one time and that makes me gay?”
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Yeah saying something like that is irrelevant to me. Like, “So? Hope you had fun”
Yeah but why the fuck say that
