Sit where you are, invite them to come join you
That’s what a cat would do
Power move. You sit down in the hallway and make them come to you.
Refuse to participate in this no-win scenario.
Instead? Ignore them and eat a can of tuna.
They will both come running to demand you drop some tuna for them
This is the ideal, yes.
If you can’t win a scenario, change the scenario.
Just make sure they don’t have access to where you sleep.
Turn and walk away. Never negotiate with terrorists!
Sit in the hallway and go “Ps, ps, ps.”
Open the fridge and both cats will come running
There is this thing called “pspsps” did you know that?
Lay on the ground and meow
Make sure they can both see me and understand that I heard their cries. Turn my back and walk away.
Meet injustice with justice.
Say “ma-ah!” at them.
That’s apparently cat for “come here”.
Turn around bc I forgot my water
Can you grab mine since you’re going back?
Close both doors, but not enough to latch, then watch which cat caves first and opens the door
Ask Schrödinger to put you in a box, split yourself into 2 timelines, then you can satisfy both cats.
Ooh, a double slit! Do like the ol’ photon or electron interfering with itself, both slits at the same time.
The revenge of Schrödinger’s cat.
Turn around and walk away, they will understand…
