Some random dude walked up to me while I was waiting outside a food place for my food and asked me this question.
I said “no, I dont give out random favors” and something along the lines of that’s sus.
Is it rude to say no to random dude that asks for a favor?
I don’t think it’s rude. It’s a favor, after all, not expected behavior.
I almost always respond with, “depends on the favor.” They could be asking for you to take their picture; they could be asking for $1000 for their MLM. I’m not signing a blank check by answering “yes”.
‘No.’ is a complete sentence and you do not have to justify yourself in any way. I don’t think that would be considered rude, either.
Assume they’re asking because they want to make sure it’s not imposing, in which case it’s good to assert boundaries you need too. If they push it was just a manipulation tactic, in which case you’re more than justified in walking.
He walked away. Said something about it’s not for money or something, I’m very suspicious of random humans.
Since he walked away i assume he meant no harm. I thought it strange shrug.
Sometimes people use that question rhetorically because it feels polite, viewing it as a small talk precursor to ease in to actually just saying what they want.
I don’t like when people use it as such, because it is insincere, poor consent practice, and low-key manipulative due to the foot in the door phenomenon .
There are tons of legitimate reasons to not be comfortable with the question. Don’t have time, bad headspace, don’t feel comfortable… If they can’t understand that, I try not to care what they think of me.
This is part of my fear.
I think I agree with most of the replies here saying that the way it was handled was rude. If the opening response to me talking to someone was like that, I would feel like, okay, who pissed in your cheerios and I would have walked off.
Like others have said, there’s more to the solution than a yes or no. I personally think “depends on the favor” , is a very appropriate response, or a “maybe what do you want” Or if you’re planning on saying no regardless, do it how you did, without calling the other person creepy, its just extremly rude to assume someone is a creep while also shutting them down before they can actually talk.
“You can ask.”
I’d say something like “uhhh what’s up?” or “maybe?” and let them ask a specific question since saying yes sort of feels like agreeing to do the favor without knowing what it is first.
“Sorry, I can’t help you.” Why? Because sometimes I hand out random favors, but not today to you.
It’s not rude at all IMO. Some people like to help some others not, simply as that.
No
Rudeness is in the presentation, not the fact.
If you say “fuck off”, that’s rude.
If you say “I don’t do favors for people I don’t know” or “I don’t take requests from strangers” those are neutral and acceptable facts.
If you say “you can ask, but it doesn’t mean I’ll do it” that’s another neutral and acceptable way to address it if you’re willing to see what the favor might be, since some favors might me acceptable.
I tend to be willing to hear the request, but only with the caveat that I will most likely not comply. Last time a stranger asked if I could “help them”, my response was “I doubt I can, and I might not, but ask away”. They asked, and all they wanted was a light. I no longer smoke, but I carry a lighter. So I checked the surroundings and lit his cig
Years ago, I had a patient that lived in a really shifty area, and folks would approach me on my way up to their apartment. I’d see them coming and before they could reach me, I’d tell them that if they were wanting something to not waste their time, but if they were looking for trouble, they found it.
Which was rude in other circumstances, but necessary in that place at that time.
Your response was acceptable in that time at that place. Not necessarily the friendliest way of phrasing it, but sometimes being friendly doesn’t go well.
firmly agree. It’s all about the presentation. For example, using what was provided above the act of just saying no was a neutral sentence. Adding afterward that that’s just sus changed it from being a neutral to a negative because now you’re accusing the other person of being sketchy/sus,without providing the ability to prove otherwise. That I find rude.
You do not owe any random person anything.
(yes really. It may be rude on occasion but you do not owe politeness to just anyone either. And oftentimes politeness is also abused)
my usual answer when I’m suspecting some kind of boundary-pushing behavior is “well you can ask…” …but I have to hear out my psych patients, you don’t owe strangers the same obligation.
Not gonna lie, I was here to call you an asshole for not even hearing out the request, then I read it was a random dude on the street. Nah, refusing to engage with strangers on the street in any capacity is not rude and, depending on where you live, it may be a smart thing to do.
Bit rude, yeah, but sometimes it’s better to be rude than let someone cross your boundaries. How much more awkward is it if you say “yes” or “maybe” and then they ask if they can borrow your phone or something and you have to evaluate whether you trust this random person while they’re looking right at you? A lot of people are definitely asking this way because it gets you to let your guard down and they know you would’ve said no if they’d just straight asked. Personally I tend to respond with “you can ask” or something like that. Making it pretty clear that I’m skeptical of what they’re going to ask. But my default assumption of other people in a city is that they’re potentially either trying to scam me or rob me.
A lot of people are saying similar.
It also sounds like they targeted you specifically while you were waiting in line. So not only did they only approach you about it when they could’ve asked anybody, they approached you in a place where it’s hard for you to just walk away. That’s sus to me, I think your instincts were right to not give them an in.
No line, solo outside at a table on my phone. Dude invaded my space wanted to shake my hand and ask for a favor.
I guess I could have handled slightly better according to lemmy.
I have helped so many people in my life and lost thousands of money and time to helping humans.
I was taught to say “Depends on the favor” but was also told that’s rude…but by someone who wanted a favor so maybe we can discount that opinion.
