Some kaiju-sized demon could cleave Tampa, Florida in half with a flaming sword of the damned and all twitter would have to say about it is “would.”
> kaiju demon cleaves Tampa > prehistoric kaiju sized mega-crocodile erupts from crack in ground > they battle it out, croczilla wins by continuous death rolling > "Oh I must have switched on the sci-fy channel by accident" > mfw its national news station with live coverage
Twitter: “lmao this new retcon of Godzilla is wild”
Maybe Satan isn’t all that bad a guy and he was banished to a place for eternity that doesn’t really bother him
and maybe this is why we are sent to hell … we are Satan’s punishment … we are sent there to torture Satan for eternity
So Satan sets the place on fire and tries to burn all of us to try to kill us but we are undead and keep asking him why and send him texts of ‘lol’
Turns out Satan is actually Doom Guy condemned to fight us for eternity
Guys, Bible 2.0 just dropped
Why would some people be sent to heaven, though?
Who said and who has proof that anyone was sent to heaven?
The God of the Old Testament is an absolute monster, so I automatically like the guy who opposed him more.
I really like the Gnostic belief that this God is the “demiurge”… a lesser, malevolent, ignorant and false god who created the material world as a flawed imitation of the divine realm. He traps human souls in matter, while the true, transcendent God remains distant and unknowable. Some gnostics see the serpent as the good guy for encouraging Adam and Eve to eat the fruit of knowledge and free humanity from the ignorance of Yaldabaoth, the blind fool god, very much like Morpheus in The Matrix (which adapts all kinds of ideas from Gnosticism).
Half of Lemmy: “Oh no, please, don’t destroy my asshole 🤤”
Demon: “I am here to annihilate humanity! Hello? Please stop it… You’re making this really awkward…”
Trust me, you wouldn’t want to lose your virginity to a 9 dicked demon - Jerry Jones
It’s all smiles and glory holes down here
I would rather have satan in control than god if this world is what god did for us.
Really no way to tell which is which if you’re going by the contents of the book other than the more powerful one saying they’re the good one. They both lie, kill, etc.
Satan is just a subcontractor for god.
Would I die soyjacking to a demon? Yes.
Would it be funny? Also yes.
TFW OP posted this literally one hour after a dire wolf meme was dumped in 196 Blahaj
When the demons realise humans have come a long way from the last time they showed up and start seeing demon ivory on ebay.
Anyone else think the sodomy demon kinda looks like Grimace?
Isn’t armageddon from Norse mythology? Or am I confused with another thing
Armageddon is a Christian thing, you’re thinking of Ragnarok
Hulk smash!
Yep! That was it
Not to be confused with Armageddon the Ben Affleck thing, or (Thor) Ragnarok the Chris Hemsworth thing
