Like, how are you, not just as a greeting.
Stressed as all hell. My job depends on the things Trump is currently trying to block. If that goes, I dunno how to pay the mortgage.
So I’m exhausted, haven’t slept well in a week. Otherwise okay. I’ve got my family and my pets. Friends to play games with.
My lease ends today and I’ve had two apartments reject my application. So I’m going to be sleeping in my car with my cats tonight. It’s all pretty surreal. It really can happen to anyone.
I hope you find a place soon, sending hugs and good vibes your way
Pretty down I realized today the reason Star Trek being made today is not aspirational like old trek was. At first I thought it was bad writers not getting star trek but now I understand, the writers can’t write aspirational when they don’t see a future deep in their heart.
Becase deep down we all know we can never make it to that world with peace and a bright future. We will hate and kill each other till the climate wipes us all out and the only life in the solar system is microbes on Mars.
Or we will pull through it, jettisoning the billionaire capitalist class and learning how to survive and thrive again.
Do I believe it? Fuck no. But it’s not worth discarding the possibility. I’ve spent my life trying to be better. Others can too. And enough people trying to be better might be able to pull through.
Here’s my take. I grew up in the Cold War. I saw no way out. Figured we were all done, with a state of permanent Cold War until an inevitable Hot War that ends it all. And then, very suddenly, in 1989, the Cold War was over. No nuclear explosions, no cities vaporized. Just a new and hopeful future.
And now, here we are today. I see no way out of the climate crisis, and it’s depressing. But I haven’t forgotten the lesson I learned from the Cold War. Just because I can’t see a way out, it doesn’t mean there isn’t, or that there won’t be. I don’t know how, but I’ve seen it before, humanity’s disaster somehow averted out of nowhere. Doesn’t mean we’ll skip climate disaster. Just means that just because you don’t see a way out right now, there still may be a way, and we should all work toward such a future.
Thank you for reading my Ted Talk. Fingers crossed.
Also I wish every day that I’m wrong. I will eat crow with the biggest smile on my face.
The class war, hell nuclear war I can believe we can beat. The climate is where I don’t see a way out. Even if we did an Apollo level effort as a whole world coming together like today. It would not be enough it would be better sure but not enough.
But we are not doing that we have to do the class war / undo fascism and the water wars first before we eventually start to make make a major effort. It’s like recycling they all tell us if I just sort these cardboard boxes I will makes the world a better place as company dumps plastic waste in the water supply. It’s diminishing results and that equals not enough.
I think maybe only Discovery and Picard are like that? The Lower Decks, Prodigy and Strange New Worlds feel closer to old Star Trek. And there’s The Orville too, though the comedy isn’t great and it takes a bit to tone it down.
Yeah the Orville is great season 2 is the best with season 3 being a close second.
I think part of it is also that Star Trek is hampered by its own branding. No network would want to risk their cash cow by having them be controversial, so they’ll keep it safe.
I have quite a hard time envisioning any new Star Trek nearly getting the show taken off of the air by pushing boundaries like the original Star Trek did.
Burying myself in my work so I don’t burst into tears every other moment. Grieving the sudden loss of a cat that was my universe for her whole fuzzy diabolical life. It’s been a month, but I knew the second I plucked her from the bushes that she was going to destroy me. We had a good eleven years but fuck, man.
My gf and our surviving cat have been great consolation, but violet had no sense of personal space and I find this void in my orbit to be currently…unbearable.Terrible. I’m about to head to the piece of concrete I sleep on at night. Gotta somehow make food and mysteriously appear tomorrow.
Not good
Today was a bastard. Helped a bunch of people but now I’m mentally exhausted. Family has been great and I’ve got a cat sleeping on me. Couldn’t have ended better.
I mean I’m okay for now. The world is burning but none is affecting me yet (that doesn’t make it okay, I’m just trying be real about my situation) and I semi-recently landed a new job where people seem to appreciate me. It looks like we are weirdly very well positioned to weather the current storms and I got an email from management essentially saying “I don’t care who’s in charge, we are still a woke company”. Family is good. We have food, housing, and our health for now. It could be a lot worse. I’m sorry to anyone going through tough times. I wish I could fix it for you.
Edit: I gotta amend this a bit just to vent. I do increasingly feel isolated and alone. I have my immediate family (wife and kids) which is great. I highly recommended it if you can find someone. However, my wife is mostly apolitical and just tries not to think about things like that. I’m sure that reads bad but I’m sympathetic. She didn’t ask for any of this and is just trying to live her life. We’re also not into a lot of the same things. That actually would be nice if I had other people to share my interests with. Its nice sometimes to have things that are your own in a relationship. I’ve lost nearly everyone else to maga and culture war BS. I catch myself doing that thing that elderly people do where they talk too long to customer service people (not about politics, just small talk). I have no community and I don’t know how to find that
Not fucking great.
Ready for the general strike followed by the mass executions of the oligarch class.
Usually takes a couple years for the general public to catch up to where I’m at so biding my time.
My anxiety almost acted up again today and my afternoon was kind of sucky during that. But, I got it under control after an hour so I just went back to normal disassociation. Not happy, sad, or anything. Just…nothing. How are you?
Nearing a psychotic amount of rage directed at the elites whose sole desire is to grind the rest of use beneath their feet.
Rip and tear, brothers.
Past two weeks have been such a roller coaster that I don’t even know. Thankfully I have therapy in the morning so I hope I can get the help I need to get this sorted. Things seem to be happening back to back to back that it feels, at times, that I don’t get a chance to breathe.
The bad thoughts have been successfully buried for now
Under a ton of stress. My job has been cut from budgets so I’m scrambling to find a job before I’m on unemployment. Currently like 60% of a months expenses behind on credit card. Chin JUST above water. Probably will have to pull from my meager savings once or twice to stay afloat. Dealing with some health stuff. Dealing with a shitty employer. Likely means I’ll need to move if I can’t figure it out quickly.
Wrapped up in all my own shit, feeling like a distant boyfriend, son, brother, friend, etc.
Making me fall behind on regular shit like doing dishes/taking out trash/doing laundry. I mean it gets done but not until it’s basically overflowing. I’ve got no bandwidth for it. Living space feeling cluttered guides my free time to being the same shit – scrolling on my phone, escaping to my couch.
Id love another pandemic tbh.
