I can’t believe you’re really mine

You’re a true gift from heaven

And I loooooove you.

I’m a dudely guy. I love my smoker (where do you live that they’re doing it that often? Even here in Texas it’s a niche hobby 99% of the time). I work on and ride motorcycles. Woodworking. Hog hunting, but that’s mostly to keep wild hogs from tearing up land of people I know. I love camping. Music production. So I’d be considered pretty normal, minus the sports, if someone were to know my hobbies.

But also I’ve got some plushies in my home studio. I like them, they make me smile. I’ve got a bunch of retro games on modern equipment. I read a lot of fantasy and that includes a healthy dose YA fantasy. In addition to tabletop games that a lot of folks play I have an entire shelf dedicated to kids board games that I play.

I don’t have kids. Never will. I’m the crazy uncle to everyone else’s kids and we have a great time when they’re over. And if anyone doesn’t like my childish hobbies they can go fuck themselves.

Liking kids stuff isn’t sad at all. Ever. If you aren’t harming others and you’re having a good time then anyone who gives a shit has stepped way the fuck out of their lane. If you met the most amazing person tomorrow and wanted them to be your partner and they found out about your hobbies and made fun of them, even if they were perfect in every other way, that’s not the right person for you.

Now I’m not personally a Lego person. I don’t have the concentration for it. But if I found out you were my neighbor I’d 100% offer to smoke a brisket or whatever you eat and supply some beer if you’d bring over the Atari for some Combat or have an extra RC car that we can race. That sounds like an incredible way to spend a Saturday if I’m not headed out of town.

I’m not going to speculate on his health. I will, however, say that there was a conspiracy theory going around when Biden was elected that two years and one day into his term he’d mysteriously die so that the Dems could install the first female president who could be president for the next two years plus two terms.

Now I’m not accusing anyone of anything, but I’ve noticed a lot of things that they accuse the Democrats of they are actually doing. Will we get president Vance in a year and change, who would still be eligible? Could he reverse enough of the publicly batshit insane policies (while leaving in the quietly batshit insane ones that fuck us over for decades) to win support from low information voters?

I actually don’t believe this, but every time someone says Trump is gonna die I remember how adamant some Republicans were that iden would die and they’d have to deal with 10 years of being bossed around by a woman.

I mean, you’re not wrong. And at one time I felt like it meant something. It meant we didn’t push our religion on others. They were free to do what they wanted. If someone was doing something we didn’t like but wasn’t hurting anyone we just minded our fucking business (usually said about LGBTQIA+ folks). It probably wasn’t nearly as true as I felt, but that’s the kind of thing I was taught growing up. And everyone wonders why I grew up to be progressive, respecting other people’s rights and mistrusting the government as it stands and corporations.

No, no. Didn’t you hear? The Internet is just the US.

Hell, I grew up in and currently live in Texas and even I know better than that.

Where did you find that picture of my beard?

Awww, look at the triggered little snowflake! How cute!

That’s painfully accurate in some places down here. And if you’re ever through that way again there’s some decent fishing in Lake Texana. Got a whole mess of catfish out there a couple of weeks back.

He’s already lost his job and been released.

I’m happy sometimes. But only if I’m too drunk to remember our state government but sober enough to remember all the delicious barbecue and Tex Mex around me.

They don’t do that to me because I’m a contractor who they me more than I need them. However…

I’ve seen this exact thing play out several different ways. My favorite recurring one: “Why didn’t you respond on slack/why were you offline?” (Always over some bullshit that could wait or that someone else could have handled).

“I worked the maintenance window last night because you said this non production change couldn’t be done during the day”

“Well you should still be monitoring in case there’s an emergency!”

Someone beat something to it for sure.

Same. Full Moon Productions, Asylum, Troma…I love them all.

So the people who know better are mad and the people who are fucking whacky are mad. This seems like a low percentage move.

400. But don’t be fooled. Between brain, bones, and waste you’ll only get get 200 double quarter pounders out of them. A little more if you add beef or pork fat to make them juicy.

ETA: I have no fucking clue what is going on with the formatting.

I have no idea but I like to imagine hundreds of editors rushing out every time there’s a prominent death to be the first to change it.

Wouldn’t it just be advertising access to your self hosted drive full of feet pics on Lemmy or Mastodon?

That whole thing was so stupid. A bunch of folks hated it because they thought it was woke. A bunch more folks didn’t give the slightest shit but thought it was a terrible rebrand. Even more folks said “Wait, they’re still in business?”

It’s me.