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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: January 3rd, 2024

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  • Don’t go full serial killer please. And while protesting can be helpful and at times necessary, it is only a small fraction of what is required for political and cultural change.

    What would I do in your shoes, even though I don’t know their size or colour or condition or style? It seems obvious to me, but I am old and have spent time in places where Canadians have more global power than the locals.

    Let’s say I move to Canada as a non-refugee, but maybe a political migrant moving out of concern. Some people are very welcoming and many seem cold or outright distrustful. Some of that seems directed not so much at me, since I check whether I am a mealy whinger or arrogant main character, and I’m not. It’s mainly about my origin and identity.

    So I am going to earn trust where it counts. Not for the globally consistent 20% or so of boneheads who are always going to be authoritarian and xenophobic or supremacist in some way, fuck ‘em. Earn trust by building community in meaningful ways.

    Work on making friends, while working on making up for the bullshit everyone here is now burdened with because American culture is so individualistic and religious and authoritarian and parochial and violent. Mitigate that shit for my new neighbours, in my own behaviour and by joining local initiatives that are pro-social, like volunteering at shelters or for a refugee organization.

    Educate myself on history and local customs and geography. Don’t be the parochial dimwit of stereotypes. These are standard practice for any mildly courteous traveller, mind you.

    Canada, however, has a special colonial relationship with the USA that affects everyone. So I pay attention, and remember that the citizens of the USA have long been friendly to, but have also long ignored and belittled and coveted and threatened and financially controlled and culturally dominated my new home… and people are going to remind me of that when I inevitably channel some of the american exceptionalism that galls most Canadians into passive aggressive mockery.




  • I got some training in this. I once had a task of waking everyone up at a forest temple by ringing a giant bell with a hammer over about 3 minutes, at 4:30 AM. Around 400 people relied on that bell to keep things going. But my alarm clock died at three days into a three week session. It was a no-speech retreat so I just dealt with it.

    I didn’t miss a bell but the first couple of nights were iffy. Now I will sleep in unless something urgent is going to happen.


  • Yes, about 100M people right next door are probably risky to Canada, because they are drinking the fox poison or allow evil through indifference. Maybe 150M?

    About 5 million potential refugees. Difficult for us to manage but we’ll try. The other 200M are (I’m guessing at the local mood here) welcome to visit and maybe immigrate.

    The blame USA’ians feel coming from the north, even to allies, is about voting not being enough, it’s not a way to wash away culpability.


  • I know a few people who feel that we are under imminent threat of unimaginable violence. It does things to you.

    Most of them see certain usa cultural behaviours and feel that’s where the risk comes from. It’s too hard for them to articulate or figure out how to filter through it, so it comes out as blanket rejection and distrust. Not sure I have seen any outright hate yet, it’s mostly defensive.

    Also I have seen a lot of USA people online confuse that distrust with hate, obviously feeling touchy.





  • Fukan hell, have to repeat this:

    Canada is twice colonized, by brits and yanks. We feel it. We joke and gripe about it. We mostly put up with it and it’s hard to explain to outsiders or newcomers, but especially to americans, who do not see themselves as colonizers and scoff at the notion.

    But do not underestimate how a hundred years or more of threats (yes the latest bullshit is nothing new really) and dismissive subtle put downs and cultural erasure just gets under your skin.

    It winds up being a cliché that we define ourselves in opposition to the USA.

    To be Canadian is to NOT be American, no joke. And we are proud.

    So stop fucking speculating or wondering or talking like it will ever happen. We will jihad the shit out of you if you invade.










    • Tell me about some of your favourite people when you were a child.

    • Do you remember any interesting sounds from your youth?

    • What was it like learning english? How did you start?

    • What were your first impressions when arriving in the USA?

    These are all just conversation starters of course. You have to be ready to jump on the thread of a story she really wants to tell and pull on it to get more details and viewpoints.

    Using sensory anchors like sounds or smells will really get your questions closer to memory triggers. “What did your favourite bakery smell like?” And then stuff will come up, like shortages or foreign treats, and that’s maybe a good story to follow.

    Basically whenever possible, encourage her to “tell me about” life back then, and follow up with short questions asking for clarification or details.