Just chiming in, because I had never heard a water heater referred to as a “geyser” before. I was very confused about the application of an electrically heated hole in the ground.

Perhaps a Doro? They have both dumb-phones and simplified smartphones. https://www.doro.com/en-gb/products/mobile-phones/

THIS JUST IN:

Researchers have found, staying in Ukrainian territory to be a leading cause of getting exploded, in young Russian males! More at 6…

WTF is that title? I can’t be the only one, to whom it makes no sense at all…