I was just sitting at the mall taking a break from mall walking. A man walked over to me when I wasn’t even looking up. He said "I haven’t seen you here before. " I said I wasn’t really here to talk to people and got up and walked away. He said he would leave, he may even have said sorry. I said I was ready to leave anyway. In retrospect I think he may have just been slightly mentally challenged so I wish I had been a little softer, he did not turn out to be aggressive. Looking for suggestions on something still clear and firm but more polite? This scared me for some reason, I think how fast he walked up and sat down near me.

Editing to add a key detail, he sat down close to me which is probably what made me more nervous than I would have otherwise been. I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback I’ve gotten and interesting discussion.

      • feelings67@lemmy.worldOP
        2·
        6 hours ago

        I was afraid of men long before social media existed based on personal experiences receiving unwanted and inappropriate attention and comments. Note I’m not saying ALL men but this is based on personal experience, nothing to do with social media, what a stretch.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
            1·
            6 hours ago

            It’s really insulting that you had reduced women’s fear of men down to being influenced by social media.

            1 in every 4 women have been raped. That number goes up when taking into account how many rapes go unreported.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        6 hours ago

        I think any man that approaches a woman who is alone and exhibiting body language that is not open to conversation and then proceeds to sit down near her and start a conversation rudely is a problem.

        It’s not just any man.

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
            1·
            6 hours ago

            Bystander effect is a real thing, you can’t be certain that the people milling about would help you. You also don’t know how many people were around OP at the time, you’re guessing.

            Stop telling women that it’s social media that’s scaring them about men. Start telling the men around you to stop scaring women.

            It is rude to approach a woman abruptly while she is alone and continue to talk to her when she looks uncomfortable. It does not make that woman feel safe. She doesn’t know that man only wants to small talk and you don’t know that either.