My divorce.

He had asked me to quit my job to focus on supporting him in his career after he graduated college. Months where my life was cleaning up after him, making him breakfast, etc…

It really turned into a cult thing. My entire world was him, and then he tossed me out. Financially ruined, no support from family.

But I’m finally on the way up I think.

Honestly, life itself.

At 15, I thought I’d be dead by 18.

At 18, I thought I’d be dead by 20.

At 21, I thought I’d be dead by 24.

At 24, I thought I’d be dead by 28.

At 28, I transitioned and think I’ll be dead by 95? Maybe? Either way, the grayscale world has had its color turned way up and life’s worth living now. I’m 41.

Turns out, having a deep-seated sense of wrongness can lead to life itself being challenging.

Cancer. It wasn’t the cancer so much as the chemotherapy that almost killed me several times.

12 years on, I’m still here.

Public School, I was always an awkward kid who did well with most subjects so I had a lot made me front and center for endless harassment. I could just be eating by myself, away from everyone else, and people would purposely come my way to just pick on. It wasn’t just pecking order kids being kids, this was actual malice. Needless to say I survived but I’m a broken person because of that and forgiveness is hard to get from me for real transgressions.

I’d say cancer, but I knew I’d get through that because there weren’t any other options. So probably dealing with things I’ve forgotten about or have been putting off. Those always seem like bigger things than cancer when I, in the middle of them. But now I’ve been cured for twenty years and I’ve also answered like, 5 of the 627 emails I’ve needed to answer for the past few years so things are looking up!

I thought I was dying in my 30s.

I have IBS and it just skyrocketed in its effects on me over a period of a few years. Doctors had no clue.

I lost my job, went bankrupt, and had a lost decade.

Turned out I had a hernia that turned my IBS into regular intestine blockages. Public benefits paid for the surgery, and here I am almost twenty years later. (Worth noting that I met a woman who never thought she would find love or get married, and she demanded I get the surgery.)

I am back to being unemployed and need some simple remote work, so if anyone has ideas, much appreciated.