Edit: My own solution: when it happens, get off the computer and pet the dog.
So let’s say I make a point on a post. I put forward my argument and I support it with evidence.
Now let’s say the first comment is from someone who disagrees with me, but seems to fundamentally misunderstand what I am saying, probably because they read the title of the post and immediately posted the first thing that came to mind.
But my fear, acquired from Reddit, is that people are going to read this guy’s totally inaccurate presentation of my argument and then every comment in the rest of the discussion will proceed as if that’s what I said.
And since, as we all know, fear leads to hate, my first instinct is just to berate this person for being a stupid moron.
This is a bad strategy. Not only is probably against Lemmy rules, it automatically makes me the bad guy.
So: question: how do I handle this person without tediously restating my position again, which is extremely irritating because I already wrote it once and they didn’t read it the first time. What I want is to say something that quickly quarantines the misreading comment in people’s minds so the misreading doesn’t infect the entire thread.
Your answer kinda proves the point to me, meaning no disrespect.
The issue is we all are using the same words but neurotypical people rely heavily on reading and messaging between the lines, which we don’t do. This results in the so called double empathy problem where there’s a lot of issues in the communication.
Since 99% are usually neurotypical and 1% are autists, the norm is basically NT and we’re the ones who have to deal with this on a daily basis. And since the knowledge of autism is actually way outdated for many people who do not actively concern themselves with this (and even most professionals, sadly), often people think of the really disabled autists and not fully capable people that have a biologically different brain causing this.
This pushes the issue to a wholly different level on highly functioning autists, aka nothing seems different but the struggles are absolutely real and the misunderstandings are on completely different levels e.g. a valid harmless query from the Autist to assess a situation is interpreted as a vile attack on a NT.
Psychologically and socially it’s actually a highly interesting topic.
Can you explain what i said and what point it proved? i have at least two options.
You’ve lost me. And while I provided fundamentals with source I do not comprehend what this short statement is meaning nor trying to achieve but personal ‘winning’ on the internet.
As previously stated we have to manage our social resources tightly and this is where I exit.
You said, “your answer kind of proves the point to me.” I was asking what it was that I said and what point it proved.
I was worried maybe such a brief question would be interpreted as hostile, but you had assured me the atypical people, of which you claimed to be, don’t think that way, that it is is merely an annoying trait of NTs.
I’m starting to think that maybe you are over-interpreting autism into this context. Not that double-bind communication doesn’t exist (thank you for sharing that, btw), but on-line we do away with much of the bother of non-verbal communication (as well as the ability to easily skip over boring conversations and the ability to obliquely reference shit knowing SOMEONE is going to get it), so there is much more parity between NT and atypical people.
I say this as someone with over 1k/comments Lemmy a month after having been here two months, and after having done all my “socializing” on line all my life–but it usually amounts to just this, having a series of one-off conversations with strangers, and it’s the best I can do, socially.