I was exposed to a bad PTSD trigger on Saturday and dissociated for a bit and have been in a state of derealization since. Now that my therapist helped me not panic about this feeling, I’ve found myself curious about how other people have experienced this.
For me, everything seems muted. People and their expressed emotions, colors, general vibes in different situations etc. Everything is just wrong and unsettling. It’s like everything just isn’t existing enough to feel tangible. Iam fully aware that my perception is very wrong because I’ve asked people if things seem off at all and they’ve said no. I was very scared for like two days until I was able to book an appointment with my therapist and now I’m not as scared and the derealization doesn’t feel as disconcerting, but it’s still there. Hoping things will be back to normal when I wake up in the morning.
TIL what derealization is and that’s what it’s called when I feel that way. Personally there’s times I like that and don’t fight the feeling. I just sit there pulled back from the world and just stay.
Honestly wish I could accept the feeling. I’ve only felt like this a few times and each time it has been absolutely terrifying. Hoping my work with my therapist tonight helps make the feeling less awful. She said that trying to get rid of the feeling isn’t going to be a thing I can do, so all I can do is remind myself that I am safe even when my perception of things is out of my control