I remember often sleeping on my parents bed during my middle school years… I remember doing that since I was like 8…
Idk if this is why I have separation anxiety issues as a young adult…
A lot of your posts are pretty concerning. Is there a mental health professional you can turn to instead of relying on Internet strangers?
My point is to ask for anecdotes…
Don’t take their comment as an attack. It actually doesn’t seem like a bad idea
My point still stands
Yes it’s pretty weird to sleep with your parents as a teenager. I’d call it a red flag.
Idk if this is why I have separation anxiety issues as a young adult…
Probably.
I 100% agree with the commenter who suggested a mental health professional. This is not an attack or insult, it is a serious suggestion of what seems like the right move.
Red flag as in what? Abuse?
You literally said you have a mental health issue (seperation anxiety) and asked if an unusual household habit might be a contributing cause.
Going to a therapist is definitely worth considering.
I don’t know. It doesn’t seem normal or healthy. A mental health professional would know more. It does sound correct to me what the other person said about teenagers being at a stage in development where they are supposed to be seeking more independence. But again I’m not a professional.
I don’t ever remember sleeping in my parents bed….
I would only join my parents in bed if I had a nightmare in my own bed, which wasn’t very often. They would let me sleep between them in the middle of the bed, which made me feel safe and cozy.
When I was maybe 7-8 years old, they started encouraging me to not do that anymore. If I had a nightmare, my mother would calm me down, talk it out with me, and then send me back to my bedroom. I never shared a bed with my parents again.
It’s strange to me that OP started sharing a bed at 8 years old and continued into their teens. At that point, it would make sense to start enforcing independence.
But if I recall, OP mentioned in another thread that their mother regularly insisted on expressing how much she loved them, then demanded to know if OP loved her too. So it sounds like OP’s mother has some extreme anxiety and self-worth issues, which she reinforced by over-mothering her “child” long past the stage where they should’ve been growing up and learning independence.
It’s strange to me that OP started sharing a bed at 8 years old and continued into their teens. At that point, it would make sense to start enforcing independence.
Well I don’t exactly remember before that… memories are like fuzzy, maybe I also did it before.
8 years old was when my family immigrated to the US, btw.
So it sounds like OP’s mother has some extreme anxiety and self-worth issues, which she reinforced by over-mothering her “child” long past the stage where they should’ve been growing up and learning independence.
But I remember the oxytocin felt good tho ngl…
It’s kind of like when someone asks when do you need to respect kids privacy when they are changing. The right answer is whenever the kid signals they want privacy or asks for it.
I have a ten year old who still occasionally ends up in our bed at night. But he does it to be near our dog who usually also sneaks into bed with us at some point in the night.
As long as nothing was forced you are fine OP.
That’s definitely not normal. Coming to the room because of a nightmare to talk and get some reassurance, sure. Sleeping there all night…that doesn’t sound like a great way to do things. As others mentioned some professional help might be your best route. It’s ok though, some help and counseling and you’ll be able to work through things
It’s not that unusual. I have 30-40 year old cousins that might share a bed with their mom, in gatherings where we’re short on beds. It’s a little odd, but… shrug.
I wouldn’t worry unless you feel like you have to do it.
At gatherings it’s different, you sleep where you can sometimes.
In a household regularly? Kinda strange.
Maybe occasionally when they visit their Mom, sometimes? But it’s not like they live together, no.
Were your parents also sleeping in this bed when you were? Or did you just take an afternoon nap?
I mean like I slept with my parents at night…
My mom let me… I remember sometimes she’d ask me if I want to sleep with them or if I want to sleep by myself in my bed… and I think I just have anxiety or something… I mean like I felt more comfortable with parents… but occasionally some days I’d want to be by myself for some alone time too…
Oh yea btw I used to share a room with my older brother till I was almost 12, then we moved to a different house and had separate rooms… Our beds were just next to each other…
My older brother never wanted to do co-sleeping, he doesn’t like cuddles with parents either…
Okay just for context… my family is Chinese so maybe cultural norms are different idk
