Many of us on platforms like this are introverts, or autistic, or have social anxiety, or for whatever reason, have trouble meeting new people or engaging with strangers. If someone wanted to engage you in conversation, what topic would you be happiest to talk about?
I dragged my introverted ass to 10 houses on my street in an attempt to find a shred of US political solidarity in a red state. I got 7 no answer, left 1 Ring Camera message, 1 polite declination, and 1 prison guard who “doesn’t really watch the news”. I felt awkward as hell but I remain excited about talking to enough people to find 1 or 2 who are like “You think this is all insanity too?!” This isn’t the “topic” OP solicited but as an introvert it feels valuable to share here that I felt good after forcing myself to break that ice.
I am easily spun up talking about myself. Getting me talking isn’t too hard, but I start to feel introvert exhaustion once I think maybe I’m talking too much or I find reason to doubt the person wants to talk any further.
Movies/shows have been good topics for me. Enough people have seen Spaceballs, Interstellar, The Pitt, Marvel that people’s inner nerd pops out like a Jack in the Box when their fandom comes up. A coworker and I once had nothing in common, but I brought up Mystery Science Theater 3000 offhand and she cut me off to shout “I LOVE EMMESSTEE THREE KAY!!”
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Olive oil.
I just read Extra Virginity and it turns out there is a whole world of food oil counterfeiting and I really need help stopping it, because suddenly this is the topic I am 3rd most passionate about.
What topics are you most passionate about?
And - counterfeiting? For olive oil? I’m gobsmacked.
Food counterfeiting is huge. I’m convinced the only way to get Modena balsamic is to go to Modena.
Water on Mars
Do you fuck on the first date?
I want to know about music that gives you the chills, and why you think it has that effect on you.
If open to sharing, which music gives eezeebee this effect?
It can be hard to describe, thus my interest in what causes it. For myself I’ve somewhat narrowed it down to generally somber and emotionally-charged moments.
The vocal/scream breakdown in the middle, though I think it’s important how the whole song sets the stage for it:
The whole thing, but especially the higher notes sung:
The guitar lead starting at 1:15 & 2:05 and how it synergizes with the bass line, especially on the third and fourth measure of its melody:
Explosions in the Sky - Greet Death
It can happen in songs with different moods though it’s more rare, and I kind of think those moments still share some qualities in common with the examples above.
I can’t think of anything offhand. I really like Chappell Roan – her songs just make me viscerally happy. Eleine sounds great, and I’ve loved Sia ever since I heard Titanium. But chills? No one I listen to provokes that particular reaction.
Constructed languages. It’s a profoundly lonely hobby. I would love to randomly meet another conlanger IRL
What’s your fav conlang? I dabbled in Esperanto on duolingo a while back.
Maybe I should have kept dabbling; about all I remember anymore is ‘hundo’.
I messed with Esperanto and Lojban in high school, but when someone says they’re a conlanger they usually mean they make their own languages. This is my most developed conlang, and I’m working on another one used in the same setting.
My most recent meaningful conversations at the bus stop in the past year were:
- Maslow’s hierarchy of needs with a middle aged gentlemen who struck up a conversation having seen my work badge
- a guy who’d had his phone stolen reflecting on the ways it had allowed him to be more mindful of his own thoughts and disengage from toxic people
- a homeless woman who lived at the bus stop for a while with her husband discussing her personal safety as a homeless woman (her husband needed to go do something that wouldn’t take long, and he had waited for me to come out and wait for the bus to go do it, and came back before the bus arrived).
And I made friends with the homeless guys outside my last apartment by stopping to pet their dog (and later stealing wound care supplies from work for it).
I find other people interesting for the most part, and have a large enough breadth of knowledge to at least ask interesting questions about most things. Tradespeople in particular know some fascinating things
I once asked a man in a work vest who was marking the road what the colors were for and he said the different colors were different utility lines (water, power, etc). My follow-up question was how he knew where they were and it turned out the pole with the paint sprayer also had a special metal detector that could pick up on each line’s unique type of tag.
And the guy who fixed my dryer had an utterly wild list of things that he’s pulled out of vents and explained that the little vent covers on the outside of the building were specifically designed to safely prevent endangered birds from nesting in them since they like the warmth but can get injured or damage the vent in doing so.
I generally find that tradespeople like being asked questions about what they do. I don’t think a lot of people ask. And if they don’t I apologize and keep it moving.
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Travel. Where are you going next, what’s your favourite country, all that. Met someone yesterday who’s going to Vegas, and has booked a helicopter trip to the Grand Canyon and tickets to a Barry Manilow show. She hasn’t been there since the 80s and is pretty excited. She and her husband usually holiday in Turkey.
Anything really as long as it’s an actual back and forth conversation and not an expectation that I carry the conversation on my back.
Yep. If you can get in the habit of asking questions, listening, making a comment, and then asking follow up or tangential questions you’ll be in good shape.
Depending on whether they are allowed to leave.
The British have this down to a science;
- Start with pleasantries “you good?” Essential, always say “I’m good” if asked this or similar regardless of your mood, use tone to convey the actuality if you wanna be unguarded
- Talk about the weather
- End with the pleasantries, something that implies you will see em again, even if you know you won’t
Talk about the weather
A wild meteorologist appears.
Video games
Places. Where people grew up, where they have traveled, where they have lived. Maybe even where they would want to go. This leads to other topics and lets you talk about something not too personal to start.
