Occasionally find myself envying people with faith and wonder how my life is different than theirs.
Be aware that most of what you see as happiness and comfort is actually just performative - they see that everyone around them is “happy” and their minister tells them if they follow the rules they will be happy. So they don’t want anyone to know how imperfect their lives are, so they pretend they are happy, and say all the right words and jump through all the right hoops.
Then you dig deeper and find that all their kids had kids out of wedlock, one is being abused by their spouse and is cheating on them, one disavowed any responsibility for their second kid they had with a second person who they weren’t married to…
You get the idea.
It isn’t all a front. The truth is that some religious communities do provide community to people who otherwise would be alone. But they are just groups of people with a shared hobby, not some kind of magic.
I grew up in a superficially religious household. This is spot on… it wasn’t a bad childhood by any means but soooo many things that deserved critical thinking or just accepting the pain of the situation were handed over to The Almighty. There are probably some decent coping skills buried in that level of faith but I don’t personally think it’s worth the cost.
Be aware that most of what you see as happiness and comfort is actually just performative - they see that everyone around them is “happy” and their minister tells them if they follow the rules they will be happy. So they don’t want anyone to know how imperfect their lives are, so they pretend they are happy, and say all the right words and jump through all the right hoops.
Funny how that sounds a whole lot like depression 🫥
It doesn’t. I don’t think about it at all, honestly. Faith doesn’t play a role in my life.
If anything, I feel it gives clarity to be aware that there’s no higher being, and secure app inherent meaning or purpose with life.
Shit happens for no particular reason, and not because of fate or karma or whatnot.
Good stuff happens because of skill, hard work, and fortunate circumstances.
Actions have consequences. Not understanding this, or blaming some religious aspect, is stupid.
I’ve never envied those with faith. I feel freedom and have comfort in knowing that I am a good person with good morals without being threatened by some mysterious being that allows such disgusting hatred to exist in their creation.
Exactly my take as well. Very well said.
You can always pretend you have an imaginary friend to talk to and that they will make everything better. The only difference is that everyone claims they have the same imaginary friend. That club is always accepting new members.
I’m a full-blown atheist. My dad died a couple of years ago and I “talk” to him frequently simply because I’m accustomed to doing it and it’s a nice thing to imagine. I know full well that there’s no magical way he’s still around and listening to me, but humans gonna human and there’s nothing wrong with having quirks like that.
I recall reading a study a long time back where researchers put people in fMRI machines to monitor their pattern of brain activity and then asked them to consider some kind of ethical question. Some of the subjects were told to talk to an attendant who was physically present, some were told to talk to themselves about it, and some were told to talk to whatever deity they believed in about it. The brain activity patterns for talking to someone physically present were different from the brain activity patterns for talking to oneself, but the activity patterns for talking to oneself and talking to God were identical. It was a neat result.
Edit: It’s not exactly as I remembered it, but given how human memory works I bet this is the article I was thinking of.
I have an intern. Whenever I am confused or angry about something at work, which is often, I just talk to him. Something isn’t working that should be, explain it to him. Demonstrate how I am right and the tech is somehow wrong. In the process I usually find the solution.
He technically doesn’t report to me he reports to the general manager. I have told the general manager on multiple occasions that he is to please do whatever it takes to keep him here because production would grind to a halt.
Get an intern.
Spoiler alert: most people don’t really have faith, especially the ones screaming at you loudly how much they have it.
When you realize that, you’ll see that people are a lot more similar across all religions - authentic/thinking people from any background at all on one side, vs. those who merely “inherit” their beliefs without every really challenging them at all on the other.
Right now there are many people leaving a religion and going to atheism so much like lemmy/kbin it has that “early-generation” ring to it, but give it a few hundred years and dumb people who inherit it will just as dumbly smash others over the head with that non-religion as people have for countless millennia with past religions.
My advice: KEEP QUESTIONING! If you happened to come from a Christian or Muslim background, there is 1 Thessalonians 5:21 that literally commands that, therefore asking questions is in no way contradictory to whatever “faith” means - and anyway how could someone have that if they did not even know what it meant?
I agree, I think that a lot of people who are raised that way are afraid to question. Hell is a pretty terrifying consequence for those who believe there’s even a possibility that it’s true. So I think a lot of them are trying to go through the motions just to rest assured that if they call themselves Christians and followed certain rituals that they’re safe.
Deciding I didn’t believe in hell was the first step and the rest of my faith quickly unraveled after that.
Well it depends on what you mean. When I am being nice I define faith as “what I fear is not true”. I for example have faith in human potential.
If however you mean the typical meaning of the term I don’t envy them at all. I was born into a god-fearing home and I know exactly what horrorshow I left for good.
I can’t imagine going through life thinking that everything I love and/or desire will send me to hell or whatever. Imagine living in fear because you think someone is watching and judging you. No thanks.
I don’t see any advantage to having any kind of religious faith. Seems like it just limits your options and gives you nothing in return.
It probably doesn’t. You can still believe in things, just maybe not those kinds of things.
I have a lot more free time than I otherwise would.
so etymologically speaking, faith doesnt come from any religious source. It’s just a word that’s meant trust, belief, loyalty.
I feel like, at their core, most religions boil down to two things, for most people:
- Giving you purpose/security/scapegoats (“I’m living a good life so I can go to heaven,” “the Lord has a plan/is watching over me,” “Satan/sinners/demons tempted me”)
- Dissuading you from inquisitive, critical thought (out of self-preservation, I’d imagine)
Personally, I prefer to define my own purpose, live a more “dynamic” lifestyle than is traditional, think critically, and question authority. Doesn’t make me “better” than religious folks, in fact they’re probably overall happier than I am. But I can’t imagine living that way, regardless of whether or not I believe in a magical sky Santa who can’t decide whether he loves us unconditionally or whether or not he’s actually omnipotent.
There’s that, but also along with it comes an enormous sense of community. It’s a lot easier to find friendship and companionship when you’re in a group dedicated to a purpose that meets regularly, and it’s a very attractive concept and feeling, even if people don’t realize it.
The biggest thing I’ve noticed is not having a large community to feel a part of. Those I know who are active in church communities tend to have a more active social life. I have close friends for sure, but I do miss that sense of greater community and cause.
The only other thing I feel acutely is the sense of being all on my own and the decider of my own destiny. There’s no leaning on faith as a crutch during tough times.
This is literally the only thing I miss, having gone from very religious to very not. There just aren’t really comparable alternatives that make socializing so easy.
Careful, this thread will likely be a flamewar mindfield.
When I was a believer, it was so comforting to be able to wash away (or at least calm) my fears, worries, stressors and other anxieties by knowing that there was ultimately a place beyond this one where everything would be perfect, and no matter what happened here, it happened for a divine reason that truly mattered. “Give it up to God” as they say.
Now I have to have real, present, in the here-and-now coping strategies (and otherwise). It’s also harder to meet good people and keep a community together if you don’t live in a populated area.
Most of us have a faith, for many that faith is not in any hokey old religion but in the things we have come to trust.
Can one have ‘faith’ that science is the correct path? I think so, I wouldn’t call it faith like believing your actions are controlled by a magic ghost but I think it could still fit the word be believing in the ability of something to persevere even if it isn’t immediately successful.
To show a quotation from an old TV show might highlight my point, "OLD MAN 1: So much for your tolerant open-minded Starfleet ideals.
JANEWAY: There’s a difference between respecting the spiritual beliefs of other cultures and embracing them myself.
OLD MAN 1: Fine. Don’t embrace a thing. It’s all the same to us. Go on back to your ship and play with your molecular microscanner.
OLD WOMAN: You’ve tried all that already, but it didn’t work, did it. Kes didn’t get better.
JANEWAY: No, she didn’t.
OLD WOMAN: Why not?
JANEWAY: The Doctor couldn’t explain it.
OLD WOMAN: So it’s inexplicable. A miraculous non-recovery.
JANEWAY: We haven’t found the reason yet.
OLD WOMAN: But of course you will. You’ll find all the answers eventually, with enough time and study, and the right sort of tools. That’s what you believe isn’t it as a scientist?
OLD MAN 1: Be honest.
JANEWAY: Yes, that’s what I’ve always believed.
OLD MAN 2: Even when her science fails right before her eyes she still has full confidence in it. Now there’s a leap of faith.
OLD WOMAN: Unconditional trust. Now that’s promising.
"Think about dressing up and going to some service every week and being pressured to pay and extra social tax. That will make you feel better.
Being forced into it due to family will feel bad. But if nothing else is going on, people might actually enjoy it. I have seen churches in the jungle and the mass on weekends was like a social happening like a party people were looking forward to.
