They’ll ask me to do something, and then a few seconds later they add, “Please, thank you,” as if they realized that they have to say it.
Even just in the US this is very regionally different and not really something I associate with generational cultures. Like in Tenn/Bama/Georgia it is very expected but means nothing. In Southern California it is rare, but actually means something when said.
What does it mean that “please” and “thank you” mean nothing? I am genuinely confused.
In some parts of the country, people wont even tell you to “go fuck yourself” without throwing a “please” in there. Is “please go fuck yourself” any more polite than just “go fuck yourself”? The word “please” is so overused as to have no inherent meaning at all. For all intents and purposes, the entire word “please” is just a new kind of punctuation. We finish sentences that end in questions with a question mark, and we initiate sentences that are a request with the word “please”…but it’s just basically a form of punctuation at this point.
This is a sign that they truly believe it’s “the magic word.”
I think that’s the attitude. Please should mean something. Thank you should mean something. But when you grew up being told to say it just to get what you want, then that’s all it means to you.
> boomers
How old are you? If you’re a teenager, your parents are Gen X or Millennials.
This is so weird… that I’m one of the parents now. Aging is a strange experience. As a 34 year old Millennial, I find life is consistently strange
dunno, but my folks (boomer generation) raised me to say please and thank you. good manners and politeness dont cost anything, after all. in practice these days I generally only use that verbiage when I’m writing up email at work.
There are no relevant studies concerning the topic. What might seem like a widespread trend, might as well be merely a local peculiarity.
Definitely seems like a difficult thing to establish without many years and many participants involved. Surveys would be an easy way to get people’s self-evaluation of their own usage of gratitude and the usage by other people, but their relevance to actual usage is probably limited.
It could differ based on social context. I gave it some thought, and with coworkers or people I don’t know really well, I almost always lead with courtesies.
But, with my spouse of 25+ years I’ve realized I’ll often say “can you do this… Please?”
And, that kind of fits what I think you’re saying. So, maybe it’s because you’re family and the pleasantries get dropped or delayed?
I think it’s just you
Nah, my folks a very polite.
My parents are actual boomers by the definition. Though I think my dad was technically just before the actual Boomer generation. I lost him last December. I don’t really remember it but they raised me to be polite. So they must have been as well.
Interesting story, I used to go to a family owned Mexican restaurant that my parents were well known at. The owners daughter waitresses a lot. One day I had asked her for something adding please at the end. And she thought it was the oddest thing. She said I didn’t need to say please. As if because they was serving us my politeness wasn’t needed. That seemed odd to me. I’m guessing she was millennial just by the age she looked. Was younger than me but not a teen. It didn’t stop me from saying please and thank you, but for some reason that always sticks in my head.
My mom recently said she noticed I am like that with servers and other staff at places much more than my siblings are. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents and people in their circle growing up. Much more tha my siblings did so maybe I got it from them. The pre-boomers whatever they would be called.
In my experience, not only do they think THEY are not required to say please/thank you, or be generally polite humans, they EXPECT everyone to cow-tow to them. I don’t think it’s blanket true, but it’s been my experience with my parents and their contemporaries.
