US stocks were sharply lower Friday as investors digested souring consumer sentiment and inflation data that showed an uptick in one of the Federal Reserve’s key gauges, underscoring the delicate state of the economy as businesses brace for President Donald Trump’s tariffs.
The Dow tumbled 750 points, or 1.77%, on Friday. The broader S&P 500 fell 2.1% and the Nasdaq Composite slid 2.8%.
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Wall Street was also grappling with Trump’s announcement on Wednesday of 25% tariffs on all cars shipped into the US, set to go into effect April 3. Trump also announced tariffs on car parts like engines and transmissions, set to take effect “no later than May 3,” according to the proclamation he signed.
11 weeks ago, ‘2023’ was last year.
This isn’t a slump yet. If Dougie shuts off the power to three states, I hope he does it during a break between the “oh no unregulated drinking water had maaaaaaaassive e.coli in it” diarrhea outbreak right when the softwood tariffs have cratered the toilet paper supply the worst.
At that point in time, expect a stark realization of the state of things to cause some sadness to leak into the market too. I predict three northern states fighting for black market TP and shitting prolifically in the dark to really affect the market. But probably, still, not his numbers.
Time to invest in bidets.
Or just wipe your arse on the curtains.