That’s why you relax, and drink your coffee slowly. Also, the burning.

Hold on, let me whip out my database of every image from every television show ever recorded, and I’ll get back to you.

But, since you apparently know everything, why don’t you tell me exactly what show, episode, and timestamp this frame is from.

What, is that ridiculous and unreasonable?

Seriously?

Edit: for those misreading this, this was me admitting I may be wrong.

Nobody should have to pay for water

This is not from House, but it should’ve been.

No pity. Everyone knows that you turn on the shower, then sit on the toilet until you shit everything out you can shit. Only then, do you get into the shower.

If you come out of the shower still needing to shit, you did it wrong.

Scrooge McDuck was also pretty awful. They had to invent a nemesis for him, Flintheart Glumgold, just to make him not seem so bad by comparison.

Rich people, in the form of massive tax cuts

Sadly, it would probably crash all of the markets, meaning no one would be able to afford a home because nobody has a job.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You can, and it kind of does. Back in my 20s, when my nipples were still pierced, I tried this when I was really drunk. Thank goodness, the pictures have been deleted.

So much for “thoughts I’ve never had before”

Killer Klowns were too goofy to be scary

Nope, not even close.

“My wife had friends who were… [sniffles] Socialists!”

Thanks. Now I’m crying uncontrollably… to drown all the evil clowns! Yeah, that’s it!

Gordon Ramsay had more than 500 cat figurines in his restaurant?

Why?

And I only kicked heroin 21 years ago! How time flies!

Did they happen to find a giant ring-like device?