I’m very familiar with and agree with the Nazi bar metaphor, and said as much in one of my very first comments I made in the discussion under this post. At no point have I advocated letting Lemmy be a Nazi bar. And we don’t exactly have many fascists here compared to other platforms, Lemmy is almost exclusively leftists.

Being kind to your fellow lemmites is not making this platform a Nazi safe haven, it just makes it a social space actually worth spending time in.

Ohhh, yeah I meant the anniversary of your time on Lemmy, I didn’t realize that’s today because you just made your account. Welcome!! Lol.

And yeah it’s definitely a pattern unfortunately :/ Lemmy is far from perfect, but it has a chance to be something better than we’ve had before and I think that’s pretty cool :)

The first was in reference to when someone expresses an idea you don’t understand or a perspective you don’t share, and the latter was about the tendency to just keep scrolling and say nothing even when you like a post or comment, but I can see why you interpreted them that way.

In my experience when someone is expressing their thoughts they generally take kindly to folks asking them about why they see things the way they do 🤷‍♂️

Personally I don’t see calling people Russian bots/trolls or accepting harmful behaviour as the only available options.

I don’t think the former is at all productive or helps anything, and the latter is completely unacceptable. But those aren’t our only options when we decide how we want to engage with people we disagree with

and again, fascists are not the only people with whom disagreements happen on lemmy. We’re literally disagreeing right now, if you called me a Russian bot I think that would be silly and unproductive. That’s literally my whole point. Not everyone you disagree with is arguing in bad faith 🤷‍♂️

Thank you very much for sharing, I expect that story will stick with me too.

Gotcha, that sucks, but I’m happy you made the journey over to Lemmy!

And oh, no I only just started using it more recently. I don’t think the topical kind was ever used by folks who thought it did something for covid anyway. I know there are also oral treatments for rosacea, but I’m not sure if oral antiparasitics are every used, since it’s just on the skin of your face that matters.

It also only got a generic over the counter version more recently, if I remember right, but now you can get it as a lotion that’s labeled for lice, but for some people it really helps with rosacea (rosacea is one of those really complicated multiple causitive factor health issues that can manifest in serveral different ways that we still only kinda sorta partially understand. Demodex mites seem to play a role in some people but not others, there’s a lot of trial and error)

The perscription version sometimes perscribed for rosacea is called Soolantra I think, its really expensive so an over the counter generic is kindof a godsend for folks whose insurance won’t cover it

Its definitely rough, I can understand why. I live in the US and as a queer person whose loved ones are almost all minorities the outlook is feeling pretty bleak, but its definitely frustrating that it feels like even slightly different left wing ideas, or thoughts on what we do about our problems can spawn flamewars.

Literally with people you’re in the exact same camp with :/ I’m also big on political debate, I think democracy can’t function unless people can discuss with eachother what problems we have and what we think we should do about them. (And yes, I know we increasingly may not have much of democracy here in the US. I still think my statement is true of how democracy functions in general)

I think it’s really valuable to learn how people arive at worldviews other than mine.

It must be, your name shows up highlighted with a little birthday cake in my client :)

And interesting, ivermectin has that intense of side effects when taken orally? Or do the pseudo-science people who think it cures covid just advocate dosing it ridiculously high?

By coincidence I actually use ivermectin topically for my rosacea, a skin condition. Being a anti-parasitic its useful fro reducing the amount of demodex mites that can aggravate rosacea in some people! I know in people it’s mostly used for lice.

some people have never caught a vibe in their life and it shows

Lmao 😂

And yeah, we actually have tangible evidence to support that idea Erin kissane has done a lot of incredible research work on how to effectively design the fediverse and support people in navigating it and one of the earlier things she did was interview people who left Mastodon after having bad experiences and collate that data-

A lot of people’s reasons is that when they joined they were met with hostility. It plays a huge role in people’s experiences here, and even just from a purely pragmatic perspective it’s REALLY important

It sounds like we share very similar approaches :)

Happy Lemmy anniversary! I’m glad you’re here :)

And yeah, I can very much understand that, I try to do the same. Sometimes it feels productive to talk with people you don’t share perspective with, but if it’s just gonna be a flame war I don’t wanna go throwing gasoline, nothing is gained by that

I should give quiche a chance…?

I like quiche okay 😅 very eggy but it can be pretty tasty 🤷‍♂️

I think the use of violence is complicated. I think people are too eager to let their anger dictate their behavior.

I also think that if you always turn the other cheek you’re allowing cruelty, and you won’t be the only one to suffer it at the hands of said cruelty.

I’m interested in what’s effective. I care about the outcome. I think kindness often has the outcome I want.

I also think that if you lived through the Nazi regime, you’d be justified in shooting Hitler. You’d be justified in taking up arms to protect your loved ones from persecution, or execution at the hands of a group that needs victims to fuel its political machine.

I’m not inclined to believe my anger always dictates the best course of action. I’m also not inclined to believe that my desire to be friends with everyone will always be enough to build a world that isn’t ruled by profound cruelty. I think those two ideas can co-exist.

I can understand your anger, I’m in the same boat, but I really wasn’t asking you to do that :( I was asking you to be kind to the people here. That you share this space with.

I wish I had left this list of examples in the original post where I had them at first

• Compliment people’s art and ask about their process
• Teach people about something you’re knowledgeable on
• Give constructive criticism on peoples projects when it’s welcome
• Thank people for posting things you’re glad you got to see, tell them you enjoyed it
• Tell people you’re glad they’re here
• Tell people you hope they have a good day

I moved them to a comment because I have a bad habit of being really long winded and I wanted people to actually read the whole post, but I think moving them and leaving “try to approach people you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility” prompted a lot of folks to interpret what I was saying as “tell the Nazis who want to debate your humanity that all their views are swell, actually”

What I meant is exactly what didn’t happen in our interaction with eachother. I’m a queer leftist whose humanity is debated by the right. You don’t completely agree with me and that’s okay, but I’m not deserving of your hostility.

We may not see things exactly the same way but I care just as much about combating fascism as you do; everyone I love save for some of my family is a minority with a target on their back in the eyes of the current administration.

I wish I could have made it more clear what I meant. I’ve gotten lots of comments more or less insinuating that I’m encouraging we all complicit in the rise of fascism. And it’s not a big percentage, but I’m still a human being who hears 12 people forcefully telling me that, and it doesn’t feel great.

That’s not what I’m advocating. I’m advocating that when you don’t completely see eye to eye with someone, you ask them what they mean (and also lots of other things, like giving compliments and telling folks you appreciate their post, etc. etc. ect., but I feel like how to handle disagreement is the specific idea in question).

WE don’t see exactly eye to eye. You and other commenters here don’t see exactly eye to eye. And that’s okay. Being willing to talk with them or me about what they think and why doesn’t help the Nazis.

(Like I said I’m really long winded 🙃 sorry for the wall of text, I know it’s not even the first one I’ve replied with to you specifically 😅)

i gotta lead by example. I gotta lead by example. Lead By Example. IM GONNA LEAD BY EXAMPLE 🥲🙃

we’re doin our best out here lol. But that’s what it takes! There is no perfect, no “I literally never make mistakes” or “never let my frustration dictate shitty behaviour when compassion would yield the outcome I want”

You gotta decide you care more about what’s effective than how good it feels to act on your anger, and then you gotta do your best :)

I think there’s a fine line between banter and trying to humiliate folks, and sometimes it’s awfully hard to find.

I don’t really mind banter or jokes, but the idea that it’s humor is often what people hide behind when they’re being cruel and want to excuse their behavior.

If you can find that line and still be respectful of the human beings you’re engaging with, I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with that :) enjoy your banter!

I think a lot of folks immediately thought of something very specific when they saw my post, I really meant to be kind to the people you share this space with :). I feel like maybe it would have been best if I had left all these examples in my original post itself instead of moving them to the comments

• Compliment people’s art and ask about their process
• Teach people about something you’re knowledgeable on
• Give constructive criticism on peoples projects when it’s welcome
• Thank people for posting things you’re glad you got to see, tell them you enjoyed it
• Tell people you’re glad they’re here
• Tell people you hope they have a good day

I moved them cause I wanted to keep my post succinct so folks would actually read it (I have a bad habit of being REALLY long winded lol. Can you tell? 😅) But I think they really exemplify what I was trying to get across, and leaving only the more challenging philosophical ideas like “approach people you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility” I think kinda prompted people to misunderstand what exactly I meant.

I can absolutely empathize with it getting harder to find common ground and build bridges. There’s no easy way to do that when more and more people think your humanity is up for debate. But I still think in this little corner of the internet, it’s worth trying our hardest to uplift the folks we sit shoulder to shoulder with :)

Love you too man! ❤️

It does! Small changes over time can add up to incredible people skills and the ability to win hearts and minds ❤️

Thank you so much for the kind words my friend, I hope you have a lovely day!

Active listening is a powerful skill!