He was under the couch cushions the whole time!

I loved Dennis Miller back in the '80s, before he made his heel turn into a right-wing douche. In retrospect, I realize I actually just liked the SNL writers coupled with his snarky delivery.

I think Musk is actually fairly unusual in his degree of cluelessness about that. You don’t really ever see billionaires getting onstage with popular comedians so they can be booed like Musk did with Dave Chapelle. The super-wealthy generally know to keep a low profile and surround themselves with armed guards.

It’s straight hopium. There’s no way they give that much of a shit about any state supreme court race.

YOU FIRED!

The appropriate reaction would be to ban them for being fucking fascists, not for some incidental crime they happened to commit.

Excuse me - I was speaking as if I were Trump.

Ronald Reagan had full-blown Alzheimer’s disease through his entire second term and yet Republicans kept control of the White House through 1992. Dementia is no obstacle when the guy at the top is a show pony anyway.

“There are, there are methods which you could do it, as you know,”

“There are, there are methods by which you could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and get away with it scott free, as you know.” In fact I don’t know.

But it snowed this winter! Once!

I’m a school bus driver and I have a coworker who is an avid climate-change denier. Here is an example of how stupid she is: she needed to borrow my bus for a run and I had it chocked. Since the chock was wedged solid under my front wheel, she decided she needed to use the crowbar to get it loose and tore the fuck out of it (and my front tire) in the process. It never occurred to her to start the bus and back up to free the chock.

She also 1) hates immigrants because they’re unvaccinated and “spread disease”, and 2) is anti-vax. I could never make this shit up in a million years. If you have children, consider that a lot of the people driving them to and from school are exactly this fucking stupid.

What’s gone stop him from sending his goons to arrest political opponents?

The fact that his political opponents are already toothless.

the guy that hasn’t been at the head of a profitable business in his entire life

This is libelous. He’s been extremely successful at laundering Russian money.

The amazing thing about this is that Americans who travel are on average a lot more open-minded and intelligent than those who don’t. And we still make a terrible impression.

He would have been pretty nonplussed by our current batch of fools who can’t even learn from experience.

That’s the definition of tragedy: a great pizza ruined by literalism.

Last year I planted some pepper plants, jalapeno and (what I thought was) jabanero. The peppers on one of the jabanero plants had these tiny little bumps on them and they eventually turned red instead of the usual orange of the jabaneros. When I ate the red bumpy ones, it wasn’t so much that they were hot as it felt like I’d just been punched hard in the lips. I thought that they were just some kind of weird mutation, but it turns out they were actually Carolina Reapers that had been mislabeled at the plant store. I like hot food, but that shit was too much for me.

I’m ready.

So you’re bulletproof as well? lol, we’re all fucked.

I think you want to be overweight so you can survive the famine times. I’m in great shape right now and ripped, but if we face food shortages I’m either going to die quickly or have to start eating the fat people.

they like to make nicknames by taking the first initial and the first syllable of the last name

Oh god, this is worse than the initials+jersey number thing.

I watch NBA basketball and back in the day (1990s) there was exactly one player that was referred to by his initials: Michael Jordan. Nowadays fans use initials (with their jersey number occasionally tacked on as if that’s the cleverest thing to do in the world) for almost every player and it’s almost impossible to know who they’re talking about. For some players this is legitimate (e.g. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander is a mouthful so SGA is a good replacement) but for most it is not.