Does any of that make you think it’s SUPPOSED to be new user friendly?

They don’t have to be. They also don’t have to be federated.

Nobody can “get ahold” of an instance in any meaningful way. Accounts can be migrated to other instances. Instances that act poorly get defederated.

If Meta buys lemmy.world you know what happens? Everyone migrates to other instances, lemmy.world gets defederated, and Meta now has a completely useless instance name and not much more.