Not going to offer many details on the where or how, as I don’t intend to dox myself, but suffice it to say that I will continue touching butts for an extended period. I don’t like feeling aroused by the act. These people placed trust in me. Trust that I mean them no harm and that I am safe to be around. I can certainly be both while aroused, but I’d rather not have to deal with this.
I’d prefer not to dissociate through work, but I can’t find another way to contextualize my experiences in a way that doesn’t leave me frustrated until I get home.
One time I did see one patient that was exceptionally attractive so I just kinda shoved it down for a while. I did have a bizarre dream (don’t remember any of the details other than that it involved that patient and was bizarre). Then I had to clean their bathroom real fast when they had to move rooms and I no longer found them attractive. Problem solved. Dunno if that helps in your situation. Maybe look into more about how intimacy coordinators in the TV/Film industryhandle things? They gotta handle people who are actually like. HOT.