You are afraid of being abandoned again.
Yes. It’s easier to push someone away than have them push you away later.
I’m glad my wife refused to be pushed away.
“Better the devil I know…”
Familiarity’s a tough rutt to get out of, just gotta keep trying 💜
trauma perhaps? I’ve talked about certain things that have happened to me in the past and people are like “yo wtf,” and turns out those aren’t normal things to happen. Also I’ve seen trauma resources describe certain behaviors that I know that I do.
point is, look into local support groups if you can’t find therapists
Because you want real/empathic/joyful/understanding/supportive human connection, but you’re afraid that you will get a fake/judgemental/manipulative/exploitative/pushy/coercive one instead
Its a trauma response, very common with depression. The only thing ive found that helps is not viewing interaction with other people as a commitment. I know im not always able to talk to others, but i dont want to push them away, so it often seems easier to just not engage in the first place. But with the right people, i know that theres no demand that i engage. Some people are just happy to be there, to know that theres someone they can talk to if they want. Basically, find a low commitment friend and if you dont want to talk, you dont have to.
because you’re not lonely. you’re just a jerk.
