Trumps plan = give whatever daddy Putin wants so nobody sees the picture of me sucking a horse dick.

Must suck for Zelenskyy to have to schlep across the Atlantic all the time just to reset Donnie’s “who have I talked with last” bias. I Fucking hate how pathetic this administration is

Here is Trump’s proposal, verbatim:

1. Ukraine’s sovereignty will be confirmed.

2. A comprehensive non-aggression agreement will be concluded between Russia, Ukraine and Europe. All ambiguities of the last 30 years will be considered settled.

3. It is expected that Russia will not invade neighboring countries and NATO will not expand further.

4. A dialogue will be held between Russia and NATO, mediated by the United States, to resolve all security issues and create conditions for de-escalation in order to ensure global security and increase opportunities for cooperation and future economic development.

5. Ukraine will receive reliable security guarantees.

6. The size of the Ukrainian Armed Forces will be limited to 600,000 personnel.

7. Ukraine agrees to enshrine in its constitution that it will not join NATO, and NATO agrees to include in its statutes a provision that Ukraine will not be admitted in the future.

8. NATO agrees not to station troops in Ukraine.

9. European fighter jets will be stationed in Poland.

10. The U.S. guarantee:

    • The U.S. will receive compensation for the guarantee;
    • If Ukraine invades Russia, it will lose the guarantee;
    • If Russia invades Ukraine, in addition to a decisive coordinated military response, all global sanctions will be reinstated, recognition of the new territory and all other benefits of this deal will be revoked;
    • If Ukraine launches a missile at Moscow or St. Petersburg without cause, the security guarantee will be deemed invalid.

11. Ukraine is eligible for EU membership and will receive short-term preferential access to the European market while this issue is being considered.

12. A powerful global package of measures to rebuild Ukraine, including but not limited to:

    • The creation of a Ukraine Development Fund to invest in fast-growing industries, including technology, data centers, and artificial intelligence.
    • The United States will cooperate with Ukraine to jointly rebuild, develop, modernize, and operate Ukraine’s gas infrastructure, including pipelines and storage facilities.
    • Joint efforts to rehabilitate war-affected areas for the restoration, reconstruction and modernization of cities and residential areas.
    • Infrastructure development.
    • Extraction of minerals and natural resources.
    • The World Bank will develop a special financing package to accelerate these efforts.

13. Russia will be reintegrated into the global economy:

    • The lifting of sanctions will be discussed and agreed upon in stages and on a case-by-case basis.
    • The United States will enter into a long-term economic cooperation agreement for mutual development in the areas of energy, natural resources, infrastructure, artificial intelligence, data centers, rare earth metal extraction projects in the Arctic, and other mutually beneficial corporate opportunities.
    • Russia will be invited to rejoin the G8.

14. Frozen funds will be used as follows:

    • $100 billion in frozen Russian assets will be invested in US-led efforts to rebuild and invest in Ukraine;
    • The US will receive 50% of the profits from this venture.
    • Europe will add $100 billion to increase the amount of investment available for Ukraine’s reconstruction.
    • Frozen European funds will be unfrozen.
    • The remainder of the frozen Russian funds will be invested in a separate US-Russian investment vehicle that will implement joint projects in specific areas. This fund will be aimed at strengthening relations and increasing common interests to create a strong incentive not to return to conflict.

15. A joint American-Russian working group on security issues will be established to promote and ensure compliance with all provisions of this agreement.

16. Russia will enshrine in law its policy of non-aggression towards Europe and Ukraine.

17. The United States and Russia will agree to extend the validity of treaties on the non-proliferation and control of nuclear weapons, including the START I Treaty.

18. Ukraine agrees to be a non-nuclear state in accordance with the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons.

19. The Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant will be launched under the supervision of the IAEA, and the electricity produced will be distributed equally between Russia and Ukraine — 50:50.

20. Both countries undertake to implement educational programs in schools and society aimed at promoting understanding and tolerance of different cultures and eliminating racism and prejudice:

    • Ukraine will adopt EU rules on religious tolerance and the protection of linguistic minorities.
    • Both countries will agree to abolish all discriminatory measures and guarantee the rights of Ukrainian and Russian media and education.
    • All Nazi ideology and activities must be rejected and prohibited.

21. Territories:

    • Crimea, Luhansk and Donetsk will be recognized as de facto Russian, including by the United States.
    • Kherson and Zaporizhzhia will be frozen along the line of contact, which will mean de facto recognition along the line of contact.
    • Russia will relinquish other agreed territories it controls outside the five regions.
    • Ukrainian forces will withdraw from the part of Donetsk Oblast that they currently control, and this withdrawal zone will be considered a neutral demilitarized buffer zone, internationally recognized as territory belonging to the Russian Federation. Russian forces will not enter this demilitarized zone.

22. After agreeing on future territorial arrangements, both the Russian Federation and Ukraine undertake not to change these arrangements by force. Any security guarantees will not apply in the event of a breach of this commitment.

23. Russia will not prevent Ukraine from using the Dnieper River for commercial activities, and agreements will be reached on the free transport of grain across the Black Sea.

24. A humanitarian committee will be established to resolve outstanding issues:

    • All remaining prisoners and bodies will be exchanged on an ‘all for all’ basis.
    • All civilian detainees and hostages will be returned, including children.
    • A family reunification program will be implemented.
    • Measures will be taken to alleviate the suffering of the victims of the conflict.

25. Ukraine will hold elections in 100 days.

26. All parties involved in this conflict will receive full amnesty for their actions during the war and agree not to make any claims or consider any complaints in the future.

27. This agreement will be legally binding. Its implementation will be monitored and guaranteed by the Peace Council, headed by President Donald J. Trump. Sanctions will be imposed for violations.

28. Once all parties agree to this memorandum, the ceasefire will take effect immediately after both sides retreat to agreed points to begin implementation of the agreement.